FML

At times that's just what I want to say about it. A lesson from.

What's Going On?

Love: The Judgement

Touchstone: The Empress

Career: The Lovers

Everything moves very fast today, mel! Your communication skills are boosted by the combined influence of the Empress and Judgment, allowing you to hold forth with ease in front of a crowd. As a result, your vivacity and spontaneous air inspire a few imitators. People admire you and seek out your company. Your popularity could attract the attention of someone highly desirable… Go for it! In the professional sphere, you feel the strong desire to take some time to think before taking any action. It is typical of the Lovers to put a sprinkling of doubt on everything you do – or don’t do. Luckily, the Empress opens up the channels of communication and dialogue with the people around you. This at least helps you unblock certain situations where otherwise you have a tendency to simply withdraw into a quiet corner, and not say anything...

Today was more of a get it done lets get it over with kind of thing. Yesterday watched a thing about dying. Like a ghost haunting you. Thought about making this public, but for what reason? Do I need others input? Maybe better not or be considered sainess.

The Call

Daily Planetary Overview
Mind reader that you are, you grab hold of something, give it your undivided attention, and build upon it under an inspiring Mars/Neptune trine. Tonight's Libra Moon makes it easy to express the finer feelings of love's young dream. You and someone special may take leap of faith.

Your Horoscope - Today, August 3, 2011
Attempt to contact others in different states or foreign countries today could go awry, mel, as technological marvels that we tend to take for granted such as telephones and the Internet could go awry, perhaps due to solar flares. There isn't much point in making yourself crazy, as this is beyond human control. The only thing you can do is wait! In the meantime, do something else that you love to do.

Internets wasn't working very well and yet the phone suddenly rings. With whatw e call not the greatest news, but more interesting news. Not a good time, only if earlier or later. But at this moment, we hang in the balance. Where were you a few months ago? Is it like going back to a bad bf? Not there for you when you need, but calls you back when they feel like it. The time together is wonderious and never lasts. Is it worth it? Do I need or want a stone or a tree? Think there are a lot of things I do not know yet.

Not sure if it makes much or any difference. It all seems the same to me. Here in pain, but you go at your own pace. Not much nagging or pecking. But at either one, don't really feel like I'm learning anything or being productive. Here I guess there's more dinkering. Too many eyes over there and harder to get away. At first was excited, but now I have mellowed out and just seem disatisfied about everything.

What I like even more is how you don't have time to say get some work done but time to mingle in the corner.

Cr@ptacular

Daily Planetary Overview
It's Mercury retrograde time again, when the planet attempts to retool thinking and communication processes. The optimum use? A second (or third) review of documents reveals flaws before - not after - the fact. Tonight explore previously hidden meanings when you replay your words in your mind.

Your Horoscope - Today, August 2, 2011
Your internal fire may be feeling a bit smothered by a fierce reality check today, mel. Give people the benefit of the doubt. They are more perceptive than you may think. In fact, it may behoove you to get some honest feedback today from some people you trust. It may be difficult for you to sort out the truth in your present situation since you are the one caught in the middle of the maelstrom. Consider the perspective of another.

Why so Slow?

Why why why why why so slow. Is everyone like that. No one seem to care jack split or anything. Not like I haven't been plauged by procrastation either.

Outlook Research

I should have wrote something before, but I can't really if I did or not. I just remembered to do some research. The pay seems low and more complicated for a non chinese speaker like myself. Not sure if it's something I want to get myself into or even can. It's like a defalited balloon now knowing what I know. There are many things I know I want to try, but I know for some reason I want to end up here unless I can have it better there. But I lack in skill sets. Trying to imagin how good or crapy things can be. So many tedious tasks and that tooth chip is still bothering me.

It's not really that bad, or maybe that's what I like to think so I don't feel so bad. The events of last week was really bad. Things could have been planned better, but you just got to go with it. I can sit here and worry and not be excited about anything. I miss the excitment when I get an idea and go forth to do it reguardless because I knew I could make it work. Can I still do that? I am more hessatent and try to make do with less. I still want the passion.

Sharp Knife of a Short Life

Can I also say the same thing that I had just enough time? I am not sure. Guess it's more like mind your own business. You can be stingie, and yet let others be as or not as they want to be. Not to often anyone will blame you for not speaking up. They seem to rather you not speak up. More often than other even if they try to blame you for their short comings, they will reply that you never asked. But then they will always come back I didn't tell you to eat and yet you eat. Everyone just mind your own business. Everyone takes care of their own phone. And yet she had a chance to go buy a card from Best Buy but no.... Really can't be attached to anyone. When they fall, you will if not fall be draged along to the least bit.

I'm Not Excited about you Either

I guess when I think of some of the complaints I have, I seem to have them myself as well. I don't like it when you do something when I do the same thing. I don't like you it when you don't, but I don't either. But the scary part is I know the reason why I do or don't do it, wonder if it's the same reason as well. It appears to be.

Bad Day

It's never a good thing in spite of all that has been going on, I turn to here. The day was bad and then it got worse. Starts off with errors and then more errors. Then the silly fear of the phone takes over and then I felt the judgment. Like no one is really teaching me anything at this point. Everyone is just doing their own thing, off on their own corner. Fish are still not well, I still am not confident enough to use copper treatment without a tester. Ending up buying a bunch of meds and then forgetting to buy a plant. But then again I should have enough for awhile. Can maybe even try to sell some of them when I get a chance. I figure I would work when is around. I can see why tam didn't like her, I don't really either. Too many question and too invasive. Like you do this you do that? Like telling how you should do it her way because it's more perfect and complete when another saids there's no one way or right way, it's what works best for you. But then again usually has a point. Then worse of all happen, teeth starts to hurt.. omg.. not now. Not ever, The pain.. and I don't have insurance. The stinging pain is all too familar. Not sure if I have been able to get over it in the past. Like Lu saids, when you got no one to turn to, you re the only one at this kind of time. I hope the issue is from a hard tooth brush. Also a pimple in vajay. Haven't had one in a long time. Thought the face would go away and it just appears somewhere else. I should have done better, but then when I try to do better, things get worse. In the past, I was warned about the stains. Then after a year no change so thought was okay. Maybe it has come back to bite me. Please Lord, will try and do my best for you. I don't know how much of this I can take. Please help me. Give me strength, wisdom, and guidance. I also have a mouth sore that I had before. Not sure if it's from the brushing. It's not as bad this time, but still bothersome. I pray for the day to be better in the morning.

Trying Disapointment

Thought I try to catch up on some messages, all to be disappointed that nothing comes back. Thought it would get some things done, in a way it did, but some set backs and disappointments once again. Realizing why I didn't try much before, what I was avoiding before. It's all rather convenient. Seems like I am just digging myself into my own hole or rolling in my dung.

Chok

Work

If not this, then it be something else. There is not a single solution. After you solve on thing, there be another issue. Just the the moment we have a bigger fish to fry. Bigger more smelly one that's taking over at the moment. If that ever goes away, you will notice all the other issues. Things don't seems to get better. Sum tom. I am just really starting to lose more and more feelings. Can I ignore them or let them go? I don't know if I can right now.

My black goldfish is not well. He just sits at the bottom. I do not know what is wrong, I worry it maybe something I did. Yet everyone else is fine. Even the short fat white one which I am surprised. I hope he gets better soon. I also hope I get paid soon. The one good news at least I know I am at least for now a temp to hire. Not sure where this could lead.

In Conclusion: Stupid Liar

And cocks don't lay eggs... But then again it maybe a joke. The whole thing maybe a joke. I am just assuming they are being serious. Maybe not as smart as you think? Or you are not getting the joke. Figure you just got to mind your own business.

They are crazy and they are pushy. Buts they are. Maybe he would make a good recruiter as they are annoying enough. I don't want to be pushed into anything or to be tricked into anything, or should I use the lack of a better term deceived. I should just talk to him and at the same time I don't want to get up. Head was pulsing again.

All this time, I feel I have been deceived. Like I been lied to this whole time. Is it just being polite or just being nice? Or just to mask all the lies. I must have been confused. Deranged. Trying to paint a nice picture. I spend all this time and energy wondering. And in all for nothing.

Lies

They are all lies. They tell you what you want to hear and just lie. When things like that happen, how do you trust? All these things are based on this one thing and when it's no longer there, how do you hold up? You can always choose to accept it. People in this world will take advantage of it. Use you if they can and got something to gain and dump you once you serve no purpose. Useless.

Trust

Maybe too many soaps make me sad, but it did remind me of something that happened to me one time. Something I don't want to remember yet not want to forget.

It's something I have always had issues with. More than now than ever. To trust in the moment? Can that be? The opposite of controlling. Giving into the moment, giving it the opportunity to prove itself. So much fear and lack of trust. We don't trust ourselves. Trust cant be earned, but given. One way to allow people to make mistakes. But still worth giving. Alternative is fear and control. Your trust is expecting what the world can never give. To trust even if they let you down and to trust again. They get better at deserving that trust.

The more I look at positions, the less interested I am becoming. I am losing expectations except to look for more jobs and to go on more interviews. At least the one good news is that the chicken fruit salad sub is returning. But what I really long for was the artichoke spread sub. That one was really good. Unfortunatly it came out during the time I was getting sick of subs and only had it once.

Pissie

Not good, maybe it could be all dwellings in my hard, but it isn't helping. Is it better I be left alone? I know I am lacking in trust? I find times that are hard to get over and other times easier to let it all go. But what about protecting yourself? Where does it fit into everything? What bothers me even more was that they were still posting for the position. All may not be as it seems. Maybe I come to realize that there is no us in this.

Unsetteling

It has rather been unsetteling. Like a great rift or divide. I don't want to be bothered with anyone's issues at the moment and just have some time for myself to mull over my own stuff. It gets a little depressing at times. The waiting doesn't help. I try not to seek for more. Use what is given. Like the two previous prospects, how easily oponions can be swayed. At first excitment, then after a word or two, I seem to reject it, and the next thing I yern for it suddenly. Nothing makes sence.

You're So Fluffy it's Killing Me

These pimples are killing me. They are everywhere. So sudden. So bitter suddenly. All that is lacking. It's not like anyone is holding back? Is it? No one wants it to be this way. I feel slightly lacking in purpose when in the end it seems all for to be nothing. I am also bothered that fishes are not well. No sign so far or improvement. I don't seem to spell very well nor do I seem to have much attention to details. It's sad really. What they all need I do not have.

Not good signs so far. All seems to hit a dead end. Makes me feel like not doing anything at this moment. Like nothing is worth doing. So many I'll sit tight for now and take care of myself for a bit. It gets slow towards the end of the week. It's funny how they disappear, like nothing ever happened. I feel as though I am lacking. Maybe starting to feel slightly depressed. I need a baked good to get myself out of this slump. Bake my way of this maybe.

I don't want to spend so much time one this and to get burned. I don't want to think so much on this. Similar to an issue that someone else has at the moment. The difference is that I don't get upset when I don't hear back.

Neh

For a moment, I was slightly excited, but after getting more info. No so much anymore. Maybe it's all in my head, but I am not so excited about either options. At least it's something, but part of me either doesn't care or hope it doesn't work out. If not, then what do I have left? Head has been aching and been stressing out so much that I even got 2 pimples suddenly. It could be from the hair spray though, but how it get on the left side? I am going to try to stay away from it, or at least from direct contact. At least I'm still pooping. Still want to try to keep things simple and clean. Pay really sucks doesn't it? Not like it wasn't sucking enough. It still seems so far.

Do I Have a Choice?

I don't really like it. I don't know what I can do. Falling into desperate times. I don't want to take desperate measures. The nerves. The falling out. The fear of the tele. All such hinderance. So much so wrists are starting to ache. So many scammers, so many lyers. How they all get away with it? Is it all luck? Are they that good? Tired and numb from all this. So sad, so many fakes.

Doing Everything, Yet Getting Nothing Done

For some reason I feel I should be applying in the evening. Like it's all out there and to get it done at once. Or should I just do a few throughout the day? I am not sure how quick the response is if any. I feel as though I maybe always late or something. Should maybe try to look for something in my area more. See if that makes a difference.

So what's on today's list? It's already almost 2. So it really depends how quickly I can get some things done.

-pull hairs
-clean fish
-apply for something
-respond to emails/messages

Doesn't seem like a really long list. I think I spend more time thinking about it than actually doing anything about it. I don't know if getting more fishies will be more that it's cut out to be. Is less really more? It does seem much.

Prayer

Maybe I do need to pray more or harder. I never hurts to hear it out.

It sure seems interesting. Not sure what I can do with it. What is Money Laundering anyways? I guess I never really thought about it besides know it's a bad thing. But knowing my luck. Though it may seem interesting, the wind is usually not blowing in my direction.

Bumed

Lack of hedging. Need to hedge more. Change is in the air, for better or worse...

It all seems like for nothing. Seems like a waste of time. Would of, should of. It's too late now and I don't want to think about it. Lets start new in the morning. So many things to do, so little time.

Is it for Real?

Back is aching. I think it's the sitting on the bed. I really need to get out of the mojo. Though burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't know if I would end up with em. The video gives me something to consider. Could it be a scam? It seems easier to believe. It seems like an easier or better answer. It's something I would prefer.

No call after some false promises. None of it means anything to anyone. Attention to details. Is that a joke?

New Direction

Maybe it's better to find something that's more comfortable. Stable. Simple.

Assertive

	Daily Planetary Overview Don't start anything new until after lunch unless you want a project to go nowhere. This evening people think the grass is greener in some bizarre way. The person across the room isn't more fascinating. The "greener" is just lots of the color on St. Patrick's Day.

Taro:

Today, the Magician and Justice emphasize the need for stability and security in your romantic life. This means that you will be looking to get reassurance from your loved one much more than normal, dear mel... And this is a potential source of danger today. Try not to be too insistent and forceful when demanding that reassurance. After all, "Rome wasn't built in a day." Professionally, you’ll be concentrating on working towards long-term perspectives. You’ll be showing great perseverance and tact in order to advance your goals, and you’re mainly concerned with being constructive. Under the aegis of Temperance and Justice, you are slowly building your little nest, by consolidating the bits and pieces you already have. This approach is clearly going to bear fruit.

I sure hope so. I guess today I tried to look for it. Not sure why I just accepted the idea that it was gone and didn't bother to look for it. I was bumed and lost. I had hope if it returned or if I found another one I would have some direction. Not like I could count on anyone else. It's just me and you.

Got to love the idea of being overworked and underpaid. Not sure if it's the thing for me. Doesn't mean I can't give it a a try. Most attempts are usually futile isn't it? It sounds pretty gloomy from what David said. I am starting to get these headaches. I hope they are not all related to this missery. I tried to sleep better, get more sleep, chance of pillow. Just not sure what I can do about it. It won't be easy. Since when have I ever taken the easy route? I like it hard after all right? If it's not, then is it really worth doing?

Stress

Hessatations

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing ,
But Only GOD Keep You Going!

First it was 5, then it's 30. How can it be done? I really don't know if I can do it. I am really starting to have doubts. Maybe if I talk to David, I would either be more or less sure. Yet I still hold this fear in me. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know where I can place it. What happens if I can't make it? Am I just afraid of failing? I know it has been a constant factor in my life.

De-Nile

Reluctant Fear

It starting to sound more tough. Maybe it's not what I think it is. I am starting to dig myself into what I am not sure about. Is it that serious? But this has lead to a different perspective on sales. It's interesting, but it's starting to seem like it may not be something for me. As they say, fear holds much of back. Is it something I can get over or feign?

TenA went over like crap sliding over crap. It can't be helped I just don't test very well.

Fear Itself

Not sure what I am afraid of. It's like the fear of your own reflection. We really have to get over it. More reason to when you are no longer getting called from igroup now. You got to move on to the next thing. Not to think too much or focus on one thing as often the bottom falls out from you. Utter disappointment sets in and never fails on that end. It's at least something you can count on.

It wasn't so bad, though I wished I had some time to ask a question or two. It seemed kind of brief.

The first in the line of what's to come usually don't work out. Not sure what went wrong. Maybe I needed to lie out of my teeth more or maybe they are just better at it than I am at it. Well, they suck anyways. Stupid white people.

Esteem

Not like going to be expecting any kind of change soon or ever. So what I can do is myself. It's like the dog issue. There's not much you can do about the dog. Only change the way you may perceive the dog. You can also avoid the dog. Ignore the silly creature, it's just a silly dog. They don't know what they are doing. Narrow minded simpletons.

Just Go For It

You will have many opportunities in the future to screw up.

See, I told you, all this thinking is almost useless.

And it wasn't so bad after all, but I need to think of more customer contact opportunities. When she said sales, I wasn't too excited about that. But there could be more earning potential in that.

Oh God, here we go again...

And that one went pretty bad. That was almost like a crap shoot. It was bad and it got worse. Was like all worried that I would get too many, but that never happens does it?

Pissie

Not sure if I am more pissed at the low score or at what her face getting a job. Hopefully will get more details about it, and who knows, maybe it'll be able to assist me in some way. A different maybe better direction.

You Say What???!!!

Good Lord

Lets not shoot myself in te foot today or any day. But you know what I mean. But it's not more like practice, it's more like it's not going to happen. You want to tell me how this is going to happen? I really don't see it happening. So lets not waste our time. Lets do things we enjoy. The Lord has given us things to enjoy in life, not to say it's not good enough. I cleaned out the gunk between my eyes. Last night was not a pleasant conversation. I care, but I think that's as far it goes. The things you wouldn't know if you didn't look. How ignorance is bliss. Only if I didn't know, how much simplier thing would be. I'm still very sweaty for some reason. I think I want to work on cleaning things up for now instead of the lather. I am just tired of looking at all thing. This mot not a very dynamic environment. I would hope that people would be more, but it's more boring I guess.

Calls

How I dread, but need to just get it over with. Maybe I should have just picked up in the first place and now I wouldn't be dealing with this. You figure that the first one wouldn't be anything anyways. And the company seems a little on the shady side. Not really what I envisioned. Things are never really what they seem to be anyways. The pay seems craptacular. Doesn't mean I would be stuck with it. Even with so much cloths on, I still seem cold. I am not sure what I can find or what I am even qualified for. How is it not matter how much cloths I put on, I still feel so cold.. How quickly time passes. 6 months already. Part of me doesn't even want to start working again. Enjoying my dung a little too much I guess. Everyone else is always doing more and better. Earlier, sooner, making more, more fun, just putting in more than I expected. Just because I don't see it doesn't mean there is none. They are all sneaky bastards. They want you to let your guard down. They want you to do nothing. You got to play your odds. Not focus on one thing. It doesn 't matter much anyways as the next bus arrives. Weather the door opens or not for you, weather you have enough for the ride, or weather you choose to get on or not or to get off, no one knows.

Lets not risk it. How little oppertunity I get access. I must not abuse it. Be grateful for the glimps. Not good, not good, a little too late I suppose.

I try to save some money, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Well at least I know it's the operations manager. But I got to say the recept was kind of rude.

At least Kyle responded.

I Wish

An intense, emotional dream could move you so powerfully that you wake with the odd sense that the dream was real. Write it down, Sagittarius. Maybe it is. Efforts to overcome obstacles and advance yourself in your career could finally be paying off. You might be walking around in a daze asking if it's really happened. It has. Make the most of it. And don't be afraid to reveal your feelings to others.

I really hope this is true. It may still take some time. I worry for em more than ever. Especially after the brief email just an hour ago. Is it really that bad?

Ranting

I don't know why I am so sweaty. It maybe because of red. Thank the Lord or whoever is watching over me for it. It came around noon. I don't know how to get rid of the chills and sweatyness. Was thinking of going out, but I guess it can wait for tomorrow. I don't want to talk about em anymore. I should start preparing for the end. It's something I was better prepared for before and now when things seemed to be better. I can still plan to make something on Sunday or whenever. Not like it can't sit. I need to dig out the recipe and I have decided to clear some plush out. I have no use for them. They do give me some comforts and so I will keep some, else there seems to be someone else that can find more value in them. They are not worth anything,

B!tch

Some just like to act like a bitch for no reason. I been complementing what to do about it. It's times like these, that the rock does nothing. It doesn't give me a sense of security or anything. Nothing has changed. More reason that I don't need material things. I thought for a moment it may make me feel better, not it's not the case. It's not what I want. In the end, it means nothing to me. And not only one is being a bitch all week, there has been another one as well. Total bitches.

The fishies seem ill again. You got Larry itching himself again. Not a good sign. We shall see. I have been feeling cold and yet sweaty today. Not sure is going on. It's like a cold sweat. Try to keep doing things. Just something. Things will come along ur way.

And they are jerks, real jerks.

Bad Day, Bad Day

Already knew things were not going to go as planned. Already hopes of getting a cookie, no longer hopeful. Hopes of going somewhere no longer going. I still want to clean some thing up. This morning comp was acting up and Bad news from Jack. Not like I needed either of them. Got lots of ideas and plans. Most will not go through. Well it's starting to get late in the day now. It's almost 2pm now. We'll see what we can get done for now. At the beginning I was more distressed, but now another idea has come to surface and seems it maybe a beter one, but it's a longer shot. Yet, it could work out. The prices for flowers are more reasonably priced than most other places I have seen. I also kicked the laptop off the bed this morning and it hit the ground hard.... it even started to make some whirlling noises and it really scared me. But it's a little tougher than I thought and for now it seems to be functioning.

Sweaty

Not sure what's going on. Got a rather disturbing message from someone. Need to make more obvious of jokes. Think part of the reaction was that I didn't appreciate the comments. Or was it more part guilt on my part? Maybe a little bit of both. But I figure it would end up like this anyways. I felt pissed. But when I saw the message, for some reason I was pissed and then I had a flash of emotions that was combative. It was something that was a little all too familiar. I can't recall what occasion or with whom it took place with. I want to say it can't be too many. It could be fatter for all I know, oh no wait. German I think it was. Making accusations. I think it was him. So it makes sense now why it feels so disgusting. Starting to feel he's disgusting as well. Some people just can't take a clue.

~Shipped~

At least I got rid of the labtop. What happens to it is out of my hands now. For $31 it better get there. But I really don't care, not like anything I can do at this point. I even picked up cards along the way. Now just got to squeese some money out of simon for some flowers. Else I am not hurting too much because of it.

Stuckies

I maybe running out of things to do. Maybe running out of reasons. Maybe left with what we need to do. So it may not be such a bad thing. Yet I feel still so cluttered.

The End

~Change~
It is really right around the corner. May not seem like such a good thing right now, but hopefully something good will come of it. No one really lasts in their first job let alone their first relation. Knew the day would come. Now only looking back if there was anything I could have done to held on it longer.. Todays taro was even about changes.. At work, today will be a day for changes. Judgement and the Magician are conspiring to get a fresh wind blowing in your everyday routine. What will it be? A new client, an unexpected trip? Something will definitely be happening. And whatever it is, you will be invigorated and excited by it! What do they say? A change is as good as a holiday. Though is has a positive spin on it, we shall see. Hopefully it won't be too disheartening. Lately I feel I have been abandoned. Not sure, leaves me with a longing feeling. Guess this would give me more time to farm. More time for me, myself and I. I don't think I am angry. Maybe just don't want to know right now. But it's something I am going to have to face. I think I should be angry, but am too distracted to be angry or upset right now. Maybe a good thing for the moment. But for how long?

Crappieness

I don't think it has gotten much better. Still as crappie if not crappier. I did reframe myself from contact. I just need to keep coming up with excuses. Nose is all stuffed up. Missery loves company it sure does. Still need to find time to pluck hairs. Sure got plenty of them for the week. No sense in saving them. Just taking up space. If you really wanted them, you would have come to get them. Else, do what you have to do. I wonder if I can through them at work? There's always an excuse for everything. I just depends if you to listen and to buy it. You have heard some really rediculious excuses, some you choose to ignore. Others not. What you want this time? I just want to work on getting better and being on my way. Just to be doing my own thing. But it's funny how the one that's more attentive I do not care for much, when it's the one that leaves me alone I long for.. Why is it so? Is it the longing for what I can not have? Or is it knowing the one that wants you will be there till it's no longer there. Why does one long for things you can not have?

To the Jerks of the World

Think a good part of it has to do that I feel like carps right now and are more concerned about my own well being than anything else at the moment. Rather than blasting them right now, I shall wait. Sister? Really sister? And you call her a friend? Seriously? Give me a break. I am so sick of being called that. Maybe it's something on my end I need to change to be less sisterly. I want to say it could be the glasses. It's just manly cloths, that's not that difficult. So what now? Got some things done today, but not all. Watched some vampire diaries to indulge myself and changed the fishies. There's still a few lose ends. Still got tomorrow. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning and will get more things done.

Not sure what was going with all the fellas today, all a no show. Coincidence? I'm not sure, but it's uncanny. Though I'm starting to not care and have become uninterested. Like they say, don't be too available. Else they won't cherish your time.

Craptacular

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but it's not what you need to focus on right now... Overall I am just not well and it's not just you, it's everyone on my case again today and not well health wise. I am getting to the point of not knowing what to do with myself. At the same time I am hoping this would all pass. Yet what to do in the mean time? Are there other opportunities? Should they be perused? A part of me wants to and not knowing there it may lead. But I got a feeling that it wouldn't lead anywhere, so that maybe part of the reason. Or at least a good chunk of it.




~Wellness~

Or more like unwellness. It has been awhile that you figure that we all eventually fall ill at one time or another if it doesn't kill you first. Been chugging the orange juice of late. As much as you may dislike Jay, I still like him. He has this easy going dushbaggery about him.

Bitter Resentment

Your Horoscope - Today, Jan. 20, 2011
If the tension has been accumulating for the past several weeks, this might be the day to snap, mel! You can expect to encounter some flack from people today, as they argue with you about your approach to life on any subject ranging from work to child rearing. Meanwhile, your inner time bomb is ticking away! Take a deep breath and brace yourself for the explosion! And remember the quiet that comes after the storm.

Motivations

Fear Sets In

Daily Planetary Overview
The Moon in Aries forms an opposition to Saturn today, making it seem hard to move forward on your plans. You may need to take more time to nurture your relationships with others or consider their points of view before you can take the action you want to take.

Your Horoscope - Today, Jan. 11, 2011
Feelings of inferiority may be a real problem for you today, mel. Ask yourself where this comes from. What could cause you to feel as though you aren't good enough or as good as someone else? Search your past for clues to the root of this attitude about yourself to see if you can nail down the source and rectify it. No one ever needs to feel inferior. These feelings are often only symptomatic.

January 11, 2011

It’s difficult to approach your personal affairs in a cheery frame of mind today, dear mel… Justice imposes a certain rigidity in your dealings with others and this translates into an initial coldness and an eventual divide between you and the people you care about. The demands of your family, your friends or even your partner create complications and disagreements that weigh you down and constrain you. Take some time alone to think things over… Professionally, you’ll be concentrating on working towards long-term perspectives. You’ll be showing great perseverance and tact in order to advance your goals, and you’re mainly concerned with being constructive. Under the aegis of Temperance and Justice, you are slowly building your little nest, by consolidating the bits and pieces you already have. This approach is clearly going to bear fruit.

Good Lord *Pinch*

Daily Planetary Overview
Venus, the planet of love and money, transitions into fiery Sagittarius today, expanding your relationship and financial opportunities. You may feel a pull to take more risks during the monthlong period of this transit as you explore new possibilities and open up to any adventures that come your way.

Your Horoscope - Today, Jan. 7, 2011
Things are looking up for you today, and you will find that your emotional status is very good, mel. You have a keen eye for love and beauty, and you will know by the look in someone's eye that they are more interested in getting close to you than you first thought. Feel free to take the lead in romantic situations. Your heart knows which way to lead you.

Taro: Today you may be feeling a bit like a hermit crab emotionally, mel. The Moon and the High Priestess are making you liable to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself rather than share them with the one you love. This is going to make it difficult to have a happy and fulfilling day! Don’t be so suspicious and things will go more smoothly. Today, you’ll be astonishing everyone at work with your creativity – including yourself! In fact, you seem to come up with one good idea every minute, the only problem is (and that’s indicated by the combination of the Star and the Moon): you find it difficult to put theory into practice. You display an obvious lack of realism, and people might pick on that. If you’re an artist or work in a creative environment, however, this is your day!