Grass Eater

Read this strange artical how japanese men are becoming grass eating men. It's more like a not so agressive geeky introvert type of gey. It might not such a bad thing.

I am getting to the point now where I miss terribly. It's made worse by some expectations I have. I think it's lack of controll to do anything about it. I mean like if it were to happen, it happens and there's jack shiet I can do... Worse fears or them coming true, I don't know which one is worse. Need to find a way to find my own need and not to depend on others to fill it. I need to do better. Why am I so weak? Has made me weak... I am really sad about that... So disapointed...

Funny how just being online makes me feel a wee bit better. Way too dependant... But the peace is short lived. Douts start creeping in and it's over before it starts. (maybe it's else on, or just left, it's all on purpose) Well can't say I didn't try. As long as I have done my part, it is enough. Lets find something else to do then and not wait for him. Oh great, maybe it is true, pop on and off and nothing and gone. Reminds me of someone... even worse. Enough is enough.