Pouf

Revisited a song I ran into this weekend and didn't really like it or the characters in it. But I felt it was a sign I don't Care by 2NE1. Creative name eh? I just noticed that. I am slow eh. Through I don't have a perference to the characters like Girls Generation. They are not cute like them. I do like how one ounches. It's something I feel like doing. But it's starting to grow on me. I tell you it's a sign. After listening to it once again, I was motivated to write. Maybe all I needed was a simple song. Although idealy I wouldt not want to be doing this now, but it's how it is. I can slowly feel myself caring less. The less I care, the less damage I can do and can be done to me. I must at all times protect one self.

Bitterness~
I was bitter yesterday how usually a simple message can usually make me feel better. But yesterday one simple message had an opposit effect. I think that was it that created my writers block where all I could get out was one sentance. I can feel myself starting to let go, but I don't want it to turn to bitterness, but maybe it's part of the process.

Distance~
The more I think about it, less in common there is. What's keeping things together then? I am starting to see the demise of all this soon. The distance I know I won't be able to handle it unless I got work. So I better work hard to find work for any chance. I feel like giving up, letting go. I don't want to hold on any longer. Maybe this is just me being tired talking. I am really tired.

Scope~
Daily Planetary Overview
Mars quincunx Pluto today will bring the tendency to waste time and energy. Things will probably not go according to plan and you'll have to make last-minute adjustments. You'd rather spend time talking to friends and co-workers than work.Your Horoscope - Today, July 14, 2009
There may be some rough spots to this day that might be difficult for you to iron out, melly. It could be that whatever you do, you are coming up just a bit short of the mark. Perhaps your level of indecisiveness is simply making it too difficult for you to be effective. Your easy-going nature of naturally swinging with the flow is actually making it easier for other people to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. Take control of the situation.

I really should have read this before I stated the day. Yesterday like today I didn't get anything done. I really do hope tomorrow will be better as I get something done. Today was pouring rain. Like 3 inches in St. Cloud. Thoughts of grad school has crossed my mind, but the issue of where I would get letters of recomendations lingers. (oh parrot butt on tv)

~Creation~

Last Sunday I made the crisp and it was one of the most darn tasty thing I admit I have ever made to my surprise. Only thing it got too watery, but it might be cuz I put in too much sugar and it freaked out the strawberrys. Opps. Else it was a quite weekend. I try not to talk about a certian subject because it's always on my mind. But today I really want to try to not care for awhile and be left alone in peace.

Final Thoughts~
Actually got in a decent meal today even though I didn't finish it, but it's better than not eating at all. Past two days have not really done much at all. Got a few things done, but not the important things I wanted to. I think some moving and a change of things may help. I want even inspired enough to do my hair, or at least try to. Hopefully this mood will blow over soon. for now goodnight self, do take care, Don't worry about mistress. But does a mistress wait or is always there or avalible? But it's always followed by to what adue when we don't really talk. It's just to comfort me. Selfish eh? Think it's better to think of it as a lost cause. Ended before it started. As do all things begin and end...