Progress

I want to save some work for later. I have a lot of cleaning to do. I want to make sure I have plenty to do later so I don't mull around waiting for something that isn't going to happen. I got the note done. I still need a signature on it, but for some reason i still worry. The other day when I opened the letter of denial, I worried. The feeling of being denied. It's was devastating. I think it's also part of the reason why I do not try do, so i will never have that feeling. But it's not something I can avoid forever.

I got the signature. I do feel better just getting that single thing done. It wasn't as hard as I thought it be. It was actually as simple as it could be. But why I torture myself? I seem to like to do that pretty often.

What else there to do? And to think, I was going to toss out the double sided sticky tape too.

I guess it's the utter disappointment that's making me react the way I am. How I had imagined things to be better. It's hard to hope for thing to be better and to remain hopeful when stuff like this happens. It has been a tearful Wednesday. But I think for now I have run dry. I don't think there's a point to talking to someone that makes you sad too.