Prayer

I pray to God, that I will bleed like never before. I really need it. It seems like we are always at this crossroads each time... It doesn't get any easier. Please Lord, dear Lord, anyone that is listening. I really need this...

Is it not funny how I just thought it and wanted something to happen and next thing you know it happens? I didn't really want to go and seemed all so troublesome and costly. Suddenly it cleared itself out. Though there's a slightly new issue, but better than before. I am still a worrying myself. It all seems too comfortable. I do not know if the lack of appetite is because of the recent mood or something else.. I know I go through this each time, each month. But I worry so much. I try to be as timely as possible. I worry this was something in the making for a long time..I do feel slightly uncomfortable and pressure, but I do not know if it's all in my head or what. I have been wet with other things, but it's not what I wanted. Utter disappointment.