~Ignorance is Bliss?~
Once again, maybe it really is for the better. What I do not know, can it really hurt me? I do wonder at times. I want to reduce the amount of windows, it's all a constant reminder of things I have yet to do. I am just not in the right state to handle it now. Not even listening to a talk on disappointment helped much.
~Sickness~
I am starting to feel physically ill. I can feel my stomach churning. Just the thought of it makes me so sick to my stomach. I really feel as I want to do not care for I can not care. But with the whole marriage thing looming overhead, I do not know if I can move forward. I don't think everything can be solved before hand. As it's more or less an ongoing thing where you may just spend the rest of your little life working on. I do not know if this is something I can go through. It's not just one thing. It's more like a whole slue of issues and concerns... Hopefully it will be easier to deal with as time passes and answers will arrive soon. I still am wondering where that planner is. I found all the other ones, but what about the one I last used?? I still want to search for it. I really do hope I find it.
I wonder at times is it something I did to make things change. But I guess if something was meant to be kept from me, there's no way I would find out. So is ignornace really is bliss? Maybe it is until you find out. Maybe I am too controlling. I want too much. At the end of the day, realize it doesn't really matter much what reason on gives, I just do not trust. maybe because I myself are like so. But I do still want to push the blame and say you make me that way. If you were more honest, I wouldn't be this way.. I don't want to be this way. Maybe it's because of the impending union. Think if it wasn't a union this would be as big as an issue?
Daily Planetary Overview - With the Moon square Saturn and conjunct Pluto, tension and stress may be problematic for your health. Many of your plans will be put on hold by setbacks and delays. You'll may feel limited and frustrated by a lack of progress.
Your Horoscope - Today, Feb. 9, 2010
Take your thoughts and share them with those who can help execute them today, Melly. If you have a trailer that needs to be moved, don't try to do it all by hand. Ask around for someone with a large truck who can hook it up to the back and cart it around to wherever it needs to go. You have the resources available to you, all you need to do is set the gears in motion.
It’s not a great day on the emotional front, Melly, and one might even think that, under the influence of Death and the World, you want to call a halt to a relationship that’s bringing you more pain than happiness. If your partner refuses to give you time to think, you’re tempted to tell them that it’s all over between you. In terms of your career, all signs suggest that you need to examine certain elements of your past trajectory… Death and the Hermit are asking you to consider what aspects of your job or of the way you do your job are no longer effective, and to find the necessary steps for bringing the situation to an end. Whether your working methods are tired, you’re using out of date materials, or you’re persisting with ineffectual partnerships, it’s up to you to work out what needs to change...
Overall it sounds pretty bad today, so all the reasons to try harder on this very day. I know I am falling, but hopefully I will not fall as far. I know the fall will seem far. But I will not realize how far it could have been.. Can things really be worse? I do not want to find out. I will find a way to make do with it. Sometimes things just seem too hard at times.
February 9, 2010
Tarot reading for Melly:
 Love:The World |  Touchstone:Death |  Career:The Hermit |
It’s not a great day on the emotional front, Melly, and one might even think that, under the influence of Death and the World, you want to call a halt to a relationship that’s bringing you more pain than happiness. If your partner refuses to give you time to think, you’re tempted to tell them that it’s all over between you. In terms of your career, all signs suggest that you need to examine certain elements of your past trajectory… Death and the Hermit are asking you to consider what aspects of your job or of the way you do your job are no longer effective, and to find the necessary steps for bringing the situation to an end. Whether your working methods are tired, you’re using out of date materials, or you’re persisting with ineffectual partnerships, it’s up to you to work out what needs to change...
Overall it sounds pretty bad today, so all the reasons to try harder on this very day. I know I am falling, but hopefully I will not fall as far. I know the fall will seem far. But I will not realize how far it could have been.. Can things really be worse? I do not want to find out. I will find a way to make do with it. Sometimes things just seem too hard at times.
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