Slow Day

Deathly quite today. Maybe I do need to admit that it maybe rather nicer without Jer around. I feel as though I am not getting anything done. I feel dry yet oily. I have a lot of cleaning up to do. Lots of letting go and not to be so stingy. I am thinking what am I getting out of all this? Am I getting enough? Should I ask for more? I think I need more water. Am I getting too lazies? I feel as though I need more time to get anything done. Maybe I am too slow. Whatever the case, I just need to keep moving. I gave me some comfort that is trying to stay. Though they are just words, of late I seem more satisfied and understanding. Or at least I am really trying to. I know is trying and worrying. So I don't want to add to that.

I hope everything that I do helps me move in the right direction. The last 2-3 hours are always the toughest. It sire doesn't help when I got nothing better to do. But I will find something to do even though it is cutting nails. I got plants to take care of too. Oh the things to do.

Lets see, I've got...

-plants to plant
-carpet to vac
-phish to clean
-organize fish drawer

I think if I can get that done for now, I be off to a good start.

I still worry about some details. I did ask to clearify it last Fri and it gave me some comfort. But I think no matter what, I will still worry. I do drink too much water.

Kitty steped on my finger on Friday night when I was trying to give her a bath. It's funny how it healed up pretty much in a day or 2. And I was getting all worked up over rabbies. I'm still alive for now, you never know I just might keel over and die. As do many things. I seem to have a lot of crud stuck in my nails. I am not sure if it is because I don't stop picking at it.


I actually got some positive news right before leaving work today. I think part of it I may have to credit to the card from Pigeon. But we shall see tomorrow. How correct was the Taro? Though it wasn't really an increase in salary, but an antisapated one more or less because I was getting none. We shall see won't we? But the better things go on this end, the more I worry about the other end. I really do and at the same time to protect myself I try nto to care. I get some comfort like I said before as long as tries. I will do my best and all I can.

All I can do for now is to help him prepare and pry to the Lord and anyone else that's out there to help. Please help. I will work hard to make this work and to help in any way I can. Please help me help..