Selfinflicted Pain

Not sure when one day begins and another ends. So far all, litteraly all negative assumptions has been worng. But not like I haven't been right before. SeungRi is so sharp in this, but so young, but no way I would have guessed ^^ So smexy. Yesterday was akward and after some thinking, had this perfectly laid plan where I would just lay it all out there. Was on the fone for almost 3 hours and half the time was in silence. And who said I didn't know how to make fone congee? =P But it all seems amiss. Problems problems. When I still don't see what the problem is. Why pick on something when it was fine? For it is fine. There is no problem now. I am glad it didn't go the way I had planned. Things really do have a way of working itself out.

Daily Planetary Overview
With Venus sextile Pluto today, emotions will be raw and intense. You will follow your passion and be hopelessly romantic. You may become obsessed with someone and throw caution to the wind. Things will heat up with your lover.

If I really did go with the orginal plan to lay it all out there then this would really happen. But something during the day changed it. Maybe the wind changed direction. So unexpected.

Your Lovescope - Today, January 4, 2009
This is a great time to be with friends. If you have issues to discuss with your nearest and dearest, then do so now, when there is the best chance of real communication between you. You will meet likely romantic partners whilst being your naturally cheerful and conversational self, and not by going out of your way to attract them.

At least when I did call, it was a more positive. That gave me comfort that things are okay and that I can leave it be. Don't worry, no problem. Hearing em so cheerful securies what I was thinking. I just want this to be painless as possible. I don't want anyone to be hurt. To prevent pain. We are really different like for the ghostie thing. I just want to be left alone to my own devices. I just handle it. Don't have time to deal with such pettie things.

Scope: >>> You’re not in a mood today to accept the kind of love that’s all embracing and doesn’t leave you room to breathe, dear melly. So if your partner shows any signs of possessiveness, you’re in danger of over-reacting and creating an issue. The combination of The Hanged Man and the Sun points to a certain degree of irritation in relation to any constraints on the emotional level, especially within a committed relationship. You’re prepared to go to any lengths in order to preserve your liberty.

How interesting, this was what I was thinking about this morning. It just couldn't work not for the reasons, but as I am still a perfectionist at heart and if I can't put 110% effort into something, I rather not do it and I just know I have no time for such things. And there's always the promise I should keep in mind. I do wonder if I am just being played. Or it could be a test. But I rather play then be played. Any lengths to protect one self. I let my guard down a bit last night. It will not happen again. I think it was because it was late and tired so I let myself slip up. It will not happen again. It's so gey anyways. I know there's a good chance I may overplay this song. But it really makes me feel I want to be him. It has been a long time I have felt that way. Before I thought it was God punishing me for feeling that way, so I changed. But right now it seems okay. Or at least I will look at both sides, not just one and relate to both to take away the best from both worlds. Maybe it will be more acceptable that way.

And yesterday got an interesting card from kangaroo. Surprised that mum took it well. It's something I too will have to deal with. It really is enough. Just as is is really good enough. It's really one of those I can not ask for more nor I really want any more. It's good at this level and that reminds me got an email from Estate Wang about the estate project and I wasn't sure what I was looking for but Mike's email was on there too ^^ So maybe I will get to see him. I was actually looking to see if Sarah's email was on the list but to my surprise there was Mike. keke.

Another things that has been bothering me is the bumps. Usually if I can get them to go away things will be better. But this time it seems like they are here to stay. They are less irritation now, but still bother some. So it's best to leave them alone at this time. Cream them maybe at least and hope they dry out or something.

Tired now, it could be of the inconsistent sleep last night. Lets not do that again if it can be helped. Take care of yourself. Good night Self. And not too shabby on the spell check.