Fear and Control

A quick recap of yesterday. To my surprise and slight releife no new roomy. But I got a feeling today will be the day. I don't see any reason for the delay. But eboard meeting went a little long, else it was okay. Got a binder to decor and than even some pepermint ice cream. But now it looks like all the computers here are running on Vista, but it's either the radio or the slow comp because I don't recall ever having this problem before of it cutting off. So it's getting a little frustraiting. Else ever all I do feel better ever so slightly. I just hope bro remembers to bring you know what *hint hint* Else it's going to be a long day. And so he did. Although I wished it was a bit more. But good enough. Right now I can sence fear setting in again. It's an unseasy feeling. It may be a side effect of that time of month again and the weather sure isn't helping. I know I have not been eating well. But I did eat something. Just looking at all this is confusing me. I just feel like I can't do a thing right. I feel so helpless and out of controll. I know there are many things I can not controll. Especially for accouting, I don't want to start that off with a missing assignment. So far it's not like I have run into anything I do not really understand. It's just that they are scaring me. I really don't like staying in my room. It maybe something that's effecting me. It's an uneasyness I am feeling. It's not like I didn't try. As long as you try. It's enough. But it seems to be not enough. How can it ever be enough? Sometimes I feel I really have had enough. I hope tomorrow I will feel better. Be less dependant.

Oh and I finally had enough of Ian and decided to deal with it. Really an tired today. Not sure if sleep will help. But I will try to get some reading done at least. Accouting I will deal with tomorrow. Please take care self.