Decisions

How can I have no control over how I feel? Starting to feel resentment. How I lose myself. My feelings are no longer mine to control. I sometimes I want to just cut all ties and be done with it. What does the Lord have in store for me? Can it all really be a test. A test of pacients? Lets try not to be too concerned with that other think and be selfish for a bit and just think for yourself. What can you do to overcome this? Or is the answer is to do nothing at all? But I want to assure myself that I did what I can. I pulled my weight and did my best. That is all anyone can ever ask for in someone is to do their best. I will try my best to be pacient. I will try my best to be open minded.

I just read an artical on Swayze and his battle with pancretic cancer. It made me realize how thoes kinds of things can hot you without notice and it can be over in a heartbeat. It happens to so many people. I know I have not always been the lucky type. But I suddenly feel I have to do something, or at least try. It's really grim prospects. But like that saying, if it isn't yours, then it isn't. No matter if you see each other everyday will mean nothing. But if it's meant to be, even if it means waiting a life time, you will be together. Maybe, but I still want to give myself some comfort that I did at least try.