Swiny

I really need tp find a pair that will not kill my feet. But earlier today, not sure but I had a rush of feeling of bitter resentment. I really don't want to be that way, but I know it will pass like everything else. Not like the swine flu thing is helping at all. I think the nap I took previously helped. Hopefully I will be able to get lots done in the next few days.

It was a chance of luck today when my section just got a 1/3 choped off. Was it all really luck? I knew I wanted that part, but who knew it would work out in my favor. The interview even went well. Although I still want to think it's more mere luck than actually skill when it comes to stock. But who knows, maybe I will change my mind and we shall see if this takes me anywhere. I am temped to get a new computer, but I do not know yet what I want to do yet. Boris be here tomorrow morning. It's strange how on the phone the wife was like whatever. It seems like there was a lack of care.

I do need a pair that's not as high. But the more I think about it, the more I think I will disapoint. I just want to be content with myself. But knowing I am causing so much distress, I feel such a failure. Can't I just be content? Why when the equation is added up it has to be this way? It pains me at times. I know the pain will pass. It depends if it will return. I know I am flaky. We shall see where this leads me. Maybe to somewhere that I didn't expect to. One step at a time.

I do not know if my swine if getting better or worse. Surprised I surived the two hours without going all hacking swine.