Jerk

Sometimes there's just no better way to describe it. Who knew of all the things, this would be the cause of the tears that so long ago has stoped. Tears that has long dryed could be again. Who knew. Maybe it's more than I realize myself. It makes me want to do something because I am so pissed. But actually I am not really that pissed, but I want to put this negative dark energy into something useful. It's like I really want to do something in spite of it and yet nothing at all. It makes me question the motives. I get so tired of the crap. I do understand though, I really do. But it's just a lot right now for me to take. Maybe on a better day. But mom is right, I really need to reconsider. If what happens is that I just get scolded, then I don't need to take that kind of crap. I don't need to be there to take it. I should just give him hell for it, but I shall not. I will not let anyone effect me in any way. Hell I will not let anyone get to me. You choose to be the way you are and I have choosen what's best for me. I can no help nor control how you feel or react. Don't drag me into your shiet. Leave me out of it. Just because you feel the presure to doesn't mean I have the same. You deal with it on your own. Not that I mind it if you need help, but don't give me crap for it. I won't take it from anyone, especially not from you. I am just tired of hearing it. It's really enough.