Nov 8

Cold

~So Blond~
Is there really more going on? Even if there is, can one do a thing about it? Not really. It's all a game isn't it? Although we may want a certain outcome or to advoid one, we can not escape reality of it. It shall be as it is. Haven't done the asprin mask in a while. Been tired and a mix of laziesness. I am not sure what want. I look at all the forms and I get tired. I get tired of the computer. I should tie up whatever lose ends. But sometimes things seem off. Like what are the chances both are on? As usual, no much you can do.

Daily Planetary Overview

The Moon trine the Sun today will highlight the need to get good advice. Recent worries have brought on stress. It may help to talk to someone and ease your burden. You may be inspired by the experiences of someone.

Your Horoscope - Today, September 28, 2009

Reality isn't always as exciting you would like it to be, Melly. But isn't this because you interpret reality in a rather particular way? You hardly ever look at things in detail because on a fundamental level details don't interest you. Yet if you take a good look around, you will discover that the details of a truly epic event are currently unfolding right before your very eyes. Not to mention what is happening inside your inner world! Try to put some new lenses on those glasses of yours!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Am getting tired talking to it. So sick of it. Rather just say screw it.

Desire

~Animale Desire~
This morning I have felt the need and the one to call. But from pure logic and reasoning, there isn't one. Yesterday brouught up a point how hot chicks end up with ooglie guys and then it was aimed at me. Made me think. But then again, even the most beautiful super models can feel ooglie.

~Dill~
I want to quick jot this down as all other dreams seem to be gone by mid afternoon. Not usually not in the dreams but for some reason was. I can only recall where went into the mens bathroom and then came out with something in his mouth. It was like a light pink irridesent sucker in his mouth shaped like a small you know. The bottom was like a norm and then it had second half like a more narrow and a head at the tip and was sucking on it like it was nothing. There were 2 female I assume coworkers that saw and looked at strangly and then took it out to show and then pop it in and continue sucking. I wanted to crawl into a hole..

Was that really it, or is there more to it?

Reminder

I need to constantly remind myself of what's going on or what could be going on. What I do not know, can it really hurt me.

Dashboard

~Last minute changes~
It's not that it isn't reasonable. I wonder how detailed I should be sometimes. Will I remember when I look back at this if I ever do. I want to keep that as an option at least. I want to try to keep doors and windows opened. But when options are taken away. How we take then for granted when they are just willy nilly around. Really not in the mood to deal with somethings now. I still find certain things disturbing. Maybe it is better I distance myself from certain things. I want to let it go, but it may not be wise to let certain issues slide.

~The Good, the Bad, the Ooglie~
It's hard to say when things are bad or good, or if it's a good or bad thing that has happened. Guess it all depends on how you look at things. Maybe this gives me an oppertunity to try other things or even to take a break from the regular. Maybe my mind is really on it too much and I really do need to diversify.

~Gun Hoe~
Sometimes I feel that. I get all excited about over something. But then something crashes the party and there it goes. I guess I get tired of doing the same old thing. But I want to try to be mindful of what I do and say and how it affects others in a way I don't want to. Most of the time I say and do things out of frustration. Or at least I want to. But at the expense of others. It's not just me. If I need to vent, then I can do it on my own time and own way. No point in bringing everyone else around me down as well. I am proud of the way you handled things. For a quick second I could see myself saying fine, and goodnight, talk to you another time and ending it right there. But the affects of doing so was not what I wanted even though it may have been something i wanted to do in that single moment.

~the Feeling~
You will get use to it. Or at least try to get use to it now. (oh hand cramp from writing like this, maybe it's a sign to stop) I think I can getting better at writing on this contraption. But I still have wondering thumb syndrome. It's a very real reality. Enjoy the peace and calm. Goodnight self. For there is only you. There was a mention of an email, and so i shall keep that in mind for tomorrow.

Clam

Daily Planetary

Mercury conjunct Saturn today will bring a serious outlook and dedication to your work. Both planets are found in the sign of Virgo, so you'll have a strong desire to produce something of quality and seek perfection. Hopefully this may mean that this means I will be able to get some things. Though some things maybe a smudge later than others, it's not the only places to look. Need to organize favorites in such a way where so I can organize creatively.


Your Horoscope - Today, September 22, 2009

Deliveries that you may be expecting could be delayed or held up, I am assuming it may mean the windows 7 upgrade. Also the rebate thing should take awhile. Melly. Today you might learn something shocking about a neighbor or relative - and gossip might spread very rapidly through your community. This maybe what mom said about the lack of intention of staying. I also lack control of the thumb. This could have you reeling - even though it might be exaggerated. You might pay visits to a few people nearby, or spend a lot of time on the phone trying to learn the truth. Don't take anything you hear today at face value. Truth truth? Is there really such a thing? It's hard to was which is which. I miss ajahn. I really do. Hopefully be back soon.
And we are back. I don't think the thumb was touching anything. I think I am coming down with something. I think I should sit tight this week and not go anywhere. Do the whole soup thing and pop some pills. It has been cold of late since the first day of fall. I can feel winter setting in and the chill of it. I don't know if it's the computer or it's just the slow internet on there. Gets frustraiting. Think should just quick plow through it all. I think first thing is first. To go through all the sites that I know or more like the usual sites. And then think of local places such as old navy, old coutry, and excel. And move on from there. Should be more than enough work.

For some reason, I feel as if I should sit down and have like a few hours to get it all done. When in reality, one can never really get it all done. It's a never done. It's an on going thing. I feel as if I can't get it done, why bother to do it. How can one work on something that can never be done? Then is it actually getting done? Or if all else fails. You may need to be more creative and search for talents.

~Getting in touch with Dreams~

Clam

Natural

This who typing thing is starting to get uncomfortable. I need to get my thumbs under controll. Today has been a day of thinking and ponderance. The peaceful kind of sort at least. The things I am unsure of I let slide and then the thing that has not appeared in a long time appears and casts a shadow of dout. But enought of that, you won't really know until you ask. There be a time and place for that. Strategy.

Tired as well. Better not to say much than to observe. Hopefully I can get some things done tomorrow. I already know I have little to no chance, so better to at least try and half arse it than to do nothing at all.

Restup.

Consuming

I really do hate forms, they are so time consuming. One click at a time and it's uber slow as well. I am not sure if it's the web site that's slow or my computer. But then again, this one form does cover 4 positions. But this whole process is just plain too time consuming. Especially if it's something I can list faster. How much is enough? This process is so slow. I am sure pacients is not one of them qualities at the moment that's shinning. Aww crap, I pushed it too far. Oh well, looks like website issues. Looks like I am done for now.

There are some pending issues that have crossed my mind today that I had almost forgotten. That one website and then how one we shall remaine nameless said how there's no future in it anyways, really hit me. I was sad to hear that, yet at the same time wanted to prove them wrong. Yet, it's something that remains unresolved.

Drea.m

I just woke up from an afternoon drea.m. I want to try to get whatever down before I forget it and for the most part I have forgotten. But it's something like I am a photographer. There was like a large military plane that landed and I was told to take picts of it and there were like other people like a boy with strange shorts with writing on the butt I was trying to take picts of. I remember not being able to see the writing, but I was like trying to accidentally to take picts of it, clearer picts of it. I happen to have like a camera that had super zoom and it was really clear, but people were scrambling around. I recall 2 guys with me. One of them was like Mike and the other a dark haired Travis like character. I remember Travis trying to help me or something. Else, I do not remember much..

Coco

I am starting to feel sick to my stomach. I try to dig drawers to find junk to toss but to my adue, there's not much I can toss. I know I am growing impatient. It's not a good thing. There are a lot of things I do not know, I should ask. I do not know how long I can wait. This is getting rediculious. I know I grow impacient. Maybe I need to be more understanding. Loving kindness and understanding. Most of it is not purposful if any. If you don't know what to do, maybe it's best to do nothing. already so late and no plans. Not even an address. Like no intention of actually going through with it. It's okay, but let me know won't you? Not everyone has as much free time as you, you know that right? Or you keep forgetting.

And that's why we have so much junk. No one is willing to let it go. Eat it and get fat, or toss, waste is sure better than the lather. We worry about waste, and all the craps we keep burdens us all. Is the ability to let go the key to bliss? As we are all tired down to worldly things. Feelings, emotions, possesions, desires, and loathing. I really grow tired of this. Strange how another's thoughts or feelings affect anothers so easily. Especially when we are such selfish creatures, how we are what others think. But is it just another form of selfishness.

Once again I think to much. Ask direct questions and get direct answer and move on.

Flexability

So I try to get some things done, but some things prevent me from doing so. One must be flexible. It really can't be helped if their website is down. So have to find other things to do until another chance rolls around. It will happen. The things that needs to be done will be.

In Other Words, Never

It's okay, one should respect each individual choice and decision. Things are so incomplete. The longing to know, but one can never know.

Good old firefox, so dependable. More dependable than other things.

I tend like to forget about loving kindness and acceptance for all things.

Time and Distance

Daily Planetary Overview

Try to be flexible today because the Moon sextile Uranus will help you adapt to changing circumstances. Plans may need tweaking at the last minute. Be open to new perspectives as there is no set way things should be done.

I seem to be able to find something drewrie to write about. But I shall try to scribble something each day to see if maybe everything is kind of a downer or is it I find it one way or another. One think taro is right about is that I am fairly positive today. more than usual. But I am still wearie about getting some things I should be getting done done. I still fall into old habits of fear.

Last night I didn't get much done. Ever so slightly disappointed. As guys will be guys. Even the ever so gay ones. Time and distance. As much as we don't seem to like it. It maybe good for you. How we don't like things that are good for you. How we like things that are bad for you. Can't we want things that are good for you? In part I want to blame myself. If I were more independent, could things be better? I must try.

Mail

Okay, so I guess no image for today. it may work better in Firefox. I want to say the reflection is rather bothersome. But even the original screen is reflective as well. At least i am getting something done. Or at least it's a start of something. I so need to tape up my thumbs. Lets be conscious of the thumbs for a bit and see if that's really the issue. I think I may want to wait in the Windows 7, but I feel I may forget later.

Icky Windows. At least FF iincludes the little cloud.

Daily Planetary Overview

Moon trine Saturn today will bring a good work ethic and a desire to do work that is of high quality. Don't accept second best. Your determination and eye for detail will help you complete first-rate work.

Your Horoscope - Today, September 9, 2009

Today you may need to get into contact with a lot of people, Melly, but you might find the process frustrating. They might not be home, messages might not be delivered, or your communications equipment might not work properly. Unless it's absolutely urgent, it might be more appropriate to wait until tomorrow to try to reach them. Otherwise you could work yourself into a state of mind too stressed out for words.

But it's rather scary. I got a lot oh communicating to do. Hopefully it won't be too complicated and I get to where I need to be.

Stuck

Maybe the best way to discribe how I am feeling. More often than late I miss out on talking about the pos of things.

8/29 Last Saturday went to the fair met up with and cousin. It wasn't as bad as I expected. As I didn't expect much keeping in mind just went to keep company. If I failed to mention the new laptop, it's nice, except the keyboard does suck. But I am trying to clean it up. I don't understand why the OS takes up so much room. And why suddenly sim pop on at 1am? Who knows. I shall ask sim about that later. Worse thing happened that evening. I guess I felt something was worng, but I wasn't being careful. Not sure if there anything I could have done differently. But on Tue, things seem back to normal. Lets keep it that way.

~Fair Fun~
Nothing too exciting, had a bite of cheese although didn't get potatoes, had some pickels and too much ice cream. Saw some cute bunnies that were for sale and had some corn. Afterwards went out to din din with uncle and aunt and then to church. Interesting talk, I liked the preachers style. But it's hard to say what I beleived. Talked to aunty and learned a few fun facts. Maybe useful or prove to be nothing at all. Set up the converter box. It doesn't seem to work very well. I was going to bring it to the restraunt to see if it would work better there. But it barely passes here. I think I can type better on an incline. My thumbs for now are not so much in the way. The thing that urks me about the box is the numbers are so small and no simple channel guide. I am thinking I don't want to use this one or get this one again. I am not pleased.

-Earlier this Week -

~The Setup~
I think that maybe something I forget to mention. It's more like last week. This part I can elaborate more later. Or I should just do it now and get it over with. I finally later that week find out the whole story. But at this point, the fair trip may or may not happen.

~Pain~
So I catch a late night rerun of oprah and it's a story of a lady in constant pain where a grown woman with some genetic disorder wake up to find herself hunched to her right all the time. I thought this epi was going to be all about Fox's parkensons, but it seems like to be about other dabilitating diseases.

~Wonder~
I know it's late and all but I can't help but wonder. I know I worry too much and part insecurity. I keep checking when I should be doing other. I need to get on top of things. I think I need to either cut off my thumbs or tape them together or something. I should go back to making lists of things I need to do. Realize my feelings and where it comes from. But there are some things that just can't be bothered. Other things that can't be helped. Gosh, why so loud. I can't hear my soft tv. Maybe this will put somethings in perspective for me hopefully. But this all could be the result of my own aggitation. I worry about the monthly gift. That I may not get it. I really do create my own hell. Exploer does suck. It's slow and gmail doesn't like to work on it.