Note to God

So it has a been awhile since I been back from New York. It was slightly different than what I am use to. I start to miss a bit. But I know it's not all about that. Part in most is my own doing. People are just such dispensable creatures. Like what happened to May. There one minute to give me a salty water horn and next minute gone. There's always Ajahn Brahm. But sometimes I think it maybe the part of the reason.

Asking from life what life can never give you = suffering
A lof of suffering is when you expect something different.

That is such a good definition. So many things you want and expect and not get.

I really don't know. I feel ancious. I don't know how to get rid of the feeling. But since I can't seem to get this done. I shall try something else. Christian spies lol But some reason I seem more tired than usual. I look at this stuff and I get tired. The test is very soon. Much sooner than I expect it to be.