Magician's Elephant

6/1

http://media.bordersstores.com/pdf/magicianselephantchapbook.pdf

So that maybe something for me to read sometime. But for some strange reason, today seemed to have passed more quickly than usual. I am not sure why. I didn't even get to some of the things I usually peep at. I have been rather uncomfortable, I am not sure if it's the bra that's too tight and the camie. It could be both at this point. But I will live with it longer. I do like how it makes my boobs look. It's rather nice, but at what price? Today is rather quite at the office. It could be due to this weekend and now that things are slowing down, it feels nice where I don't have to rush anywhere. Well at least I got my nails all cliped. I still need to get them all filed down and change some fishie water. I should also check on my express statement. So many things to do...

-file nails
-check express statement
-check sears card statement
-change fish
-put away cloths
-gather gre stuff
-turn off comp downstairs
-fatty stamp

Think if I can close to any of this done, it be good enough, and don't forget to weight myself. I feel a little more pudgy. I still have not reflected on the weekend. A part of me doesn't want to. But the more I think about this, the more meaningless it becomes. Even if somehow I make thing happen on my end, I still dout. I can feel myself losing faith in all of this. It has really gotten to the point of I am starting to not to care. I just need to care for myself more than anything else. It has been a very distraut weekend. A very pressing weekend. It really tested and stretched my limits. So what happens now?

As I predeicted, it was a fairly busy and bloated weekend. I think I ate quite a bit. But I am not sure if it affects mt weight much if any at all. So it's already 5:12 and we got a neighbor over here listening to the HMA speel. Wonder how long it's going to take? But it's not like I don't have time to spell either. They are rather getting off topic, should really get to the point and get them in and out. Jerk, making me turn off the musik. I shouldn't take anything too personal. And why don't you close your door? Isn't it what that is for? So bored, just want to leave at this point. Don't want to bother with it today. They were more or less busy, so not like anything was going to happen today.

This weekend was okay I guess. It wasn't as bad as it seemed. Yet not very good either. I guess like lu saids, I need to get rid of that shitty face. Doesn't really seem to bother to recall anything. And then there's me with the sitty face. I need to not so much wear my emotions on my sleeve. It makes it too easy for other to maniplulate me.