Blue

I know Jer once a week wears blue. I should just wait or jer to wear blue that week so I can wear it the next day. Then we won't gong saum.

~Tangled Emotions~

Anyways.. had a little chit chat with Steph yesterday. We went over some stuff that has been bothering us. Some more, other less. It sure is hard to let things so. But it seems to be the best thing to do, but I can't seem to do it. I don't have trust either which makes it difficult. But say it wasn't for the issues, everything else that's at the moment is alright. I don't have much to complain about. The laundry list of things does really get long. It's something I maybe just rather not look at.

I worry about this one.. Taro: Though Strength is a promising influence on your love life, dear mel, you won’t be able to overcome your suspicions and doubts.

I truely don't know how to get over it besides just putting them aside. But for how long and how long can I do this? Hopefully I will get tired of it soon and be able to give it a rest. Today is a long day, a very long sluggish day. I still need to get through 2 hours of it. I am not even sure why I am doing here. But I am rather tired. It should be better after this evening. I will try to get more sleep and just so things without thinking too much. I will try to long for less things. I just hope their appointment doesn't go on for too long. It's like trying to solve a problem and not having the answer key with you or anyone that can tell you if it's right or not. But is being right really all the important? Do you really need the correct answer? What happens when it's wrong?

I found that getting up and walking does help with my larthegicness. Today was really tired and bored. I am already slacking off on both ends. I didn't really get anything done yesterday besides feed my paranoia. So in a way, it's not so good, but it wa something that I needed to get out. I still got the bruse on my lef from slaming into the table corner. And I got the ingrown hair that I picked at the has been bothering me the whole day. I think I should be able to get more things done tomorrow. I am not so optimistic today.

I should work on making them turkey rolls for tomorrow or atleast on getting some bread. I am bored, tired, and ancious. A combination of wierd feelings or restlessness and uncaring.

Everthing so far is not like a shocker. I don't why is always so schocked. But it's more or less I have expected and or antispated it. I also need a plastic bag, but I shall bring it as I need it.