Downhill

Are you glad you stayed? But at least you know it works. But I guess I can check back later to see if my junk is in that pile which should be at the top of it all somewhere.

Lemon cookies
Liz Scott
INGREDIENTS
• 1 pkg. lemon cake mix
• 2 c. (small carton) frozen whipped topping
• 1 egg or 2 egg whites
• Lemon juice
DIRECTIONS
1. Mix all of the ingredients together.
2. Form the dough into balls and roll in powdered sugar.
3. Place on lightly greased cookie sheet.
4. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Be careful not to overbake.
TIPS
You can refrigerate the dough to make it easier to form into balls and roll in powdered sugar.

Something I just might want to try and take a look into because it looked tasty on tv.

Oddiest

I don't know if last night was more shocking or disturbing or what to think. It was more or less expected, but I don't if it was more or less expected. But at this point, I feel indifferent to anything. Like can it get any worse? It always can. I don't even want to look now. Too much trama for one day. One very long day. Hopefully today just take things at chuncks a a time. I don't know if I can take any more trama today. But I rather take it all in at one time rather than bleeding slowly.

I can't beleive I actually got sort of excited over such a low score. But it was sure better than what I expected to be. I can't even get a D in this class =(.. Yet I am still hopeful. On another brighter side got a call from Paster John about dogsitting. Excited about that one for next week.

Funding

Truth of suffering = Life sucks.

Havent reall yhad the chance to bring it up. but what's the reason of bringing it up? How I expect things and now it's gone. Maybe I do need to expierence lost. But I don't want to ruin anything, But I know it's something I need to deal with. It's something I need to get out. Whatever the reaction is I can not controll nor can I really entisapate. Am I really asking from like what it can never give me? I don't want to make things akward. I can not risk making things uncomfortable. I feel very shattered today. Very scattered brain. Got dogged on by a fatty library person today. Not sure where I seen before, but I want to say from somewhere that's more than just a lab attendant. I still feel bad about it going to eat like I don't have enough to eat. But I did say I would go so I better keep my end of it. I know I already kept one thing so I shouldn't try to keep as many or at least not let it be known.

Calm Before the Storm

Love: The Emperor
Touchstone: The Pope
Career: The Tower

-->Against the secure backdrop of long-term stability, you do everything in your power to make things go smoothly today as far as emotional attachments are concerned. The Pope and the Emperor make you inclined towards compromise, goodwill and receptiveness towards your significant other. You seek balance in all things and with your current air of confidence, you can’t help drawing people towards you…

I feel a smudge better, but I still don't know how I will handle it. It's bad enough as it is. But I need to deal with it before it's too late. So it's to be expected. Hungie and tired. Think if you remine for the most part above the class average, you might got out of this alright. Still hopeful. I still don't know how to break it. I know I am already upset, I don't wish to make anyone feel that way. There's no need to feel bad about yourself or hurt others feelings as you already know how painful it can be. If it can be done in a way where no one gets hurt, it is the best.

Truth

I feel like getting wasted at this point. It's even worse today that not only is it confirmed, but it possibly even worse than I thought. As so it goes..


Love: The Lovers
Touchstone: The Moon
Career: The Star

-->It's not exactly a trouble-free day today in romantic matters, dear melly… The Moon and the Lovers are working in tandem, creating an atmosphere of discouragement and uncertainty... You are inclined to distrust the good intentions of the people close to you and to question their love. It goes without saying that such feelings are diametrically opposed to creating an atmosphere of happiness and fulfillment... Be on your guard against an onset of the blues!

So much distrust. I so want to trust, but the reasons not to trust and lingering. I know is good, I see it, I don't dout it. But the reasons behind it I do not know. Uncertainty. I don't know if I trust in God or the stars now. All things seem to be building up to today. I don't know how to react. So much to do and so little room for error. What to do... How to handle this? I pary to God, anyone there to help me and give me strength to get through this.

But I recall a promise I once made. Does this have anything to do with this? If it does, I didn't ecpect it to happen this way. Is there a plan for me? I am confused and lost. I hope to be able to find the love and acceptance to give me strength to be a better person, more forgiving, more loving.

Punishment

Somwhow I knew this one would come in handy. This is how I feel..

And this is what I want to do..

Love: The Pope
Touchstone: Death
Career: The Lovers

-->This is a day of truth, dear melly… Doubts and long-hidden conflicts are coming to the surface, and you want to dispel them, and see the clearly where you stand. If you are in a committed relationship it is unlikely you’ll be able to escape a critical analysis. So you might as well address the big questions and get them out of the way.

• And the truth comes out. My worse fear. Something I can not advoid at this point. But why lets him make my life miserable and cause me difficult when it's my bed? I should drag him out and give him a beating or something ^^ Oh what to do.. It's not really what to do, but how to do it.

• What I worry about the most is my physical well being more than anything. But I do need some time to think about this. To calmly reflect.. To be rational... and not let my emotions controll me and do something I will regret. Go back to sleep please, I am not ready to deal with you yet..

• What I found today confirmed and requires reassesment. But do not forget the positive points. Do not dare forget it weather it's true or not. Do not only focus on onlt what is painful. Do not take the easy path or the easy way out. Consider the other side, consider why someone would do such a thing and how painful it must be. Compasion, care, love, understanding, to open one self.

• The truth is difficult, but it's the truth that will set you free.

Ridiculous

What a ridiculous question at the most ridiculous time??!! Last night with the whole how fast and deep thing oh my goodness how embarressing. But for some reason I am still upset about the whole thing. Not sure what it is I am upset over. But I think it's over myself more than anything. And somehow I try to push it to someone else. But in a way they are partly the blame, but it's not like I didn't have controll over it. So since I can't trust myself, I shall trust in the stars..

Daily Planetary Overview
The Moon trine Jupiter will boost your mood and keep you feeling optimistic. You'll have concern for the welfare of others and want to do your part to help out. This aspect will bring a sense of what the future holds.
Your Horoscope - Today, May 25, 2009
Ambitious plans for your future could necessitate your giving a lot of attention to practical matters such as finance. This could be a drag for you, melly, but if you're serious about your ideas, it needs to be done. A friend, probably a man, could pitch in and help you make sense of everything. A caution: Don't try to get it all done today. Your mind could become overloaded, which might prove discouraging. Take it slow! There's no rush.


Love: The High Priestess
Touchstone: Death
Career: The Devil

-->Today, the association of Death and the High Priestess is causing you to change your approach to your emotional situation, melly. You'll want to take a close look at your life, which may lead you to give up some material comfort in your search for the truth. It's time for positive reassessment.

I guess it was ever so slightly exciting getting a new camra, but I still feel bad when so much is spent. I need to spend less time with. The other day was going over the Bitch book and couldn't answer #35 was it and that upset me more or less. But like peopn said, to not let anything effect how you feel. It's not to not care about anything, but to realize this is affecting your feelings. A wierd thing unexpectly a facebook invite from someone in the past. I guess I would have ignored it before either way I couldn't miss this opertunity.