Change of Pace

Scope: Today, you reach a balance in your emotional life, melly. Justice and the World set the scene for stability and faithfulness – it may even be that an affair you’ve kept secret up until now will be brought out into the open. You feel as if you’re on solid ground and you’re not afraid to look into the future of your relationship with confidence. And marriage is in the air…

Interesting eh? It's funny really. I really don't know what to think nor do I want to give all controll. But I really don't care in some aspects. I sure hope it's not my marriage lol. Have not looked at this for awhile. Maybe it really is time to get back to what I am use to. But today I forget that it's a Thursday. I really need to get out of this room, I really do. But I am still not feeling very well so I don't really dare to leave. I really just want to get better. Today was interesting, a thinker more or less. Nice at the same time. But something to think about. If I remember correctly the other day I try to do econ and so disapoted in the score. At this point if everything was like that, I don't know how am I to do well? The answers don't seem to be there. Today got secur score and also ever so slightly disapointed at the score too. But it's to be expected because I really didn't know and still don't know what to do with the first problem. After class, it started to make me think about the CFA. It's not something that I have thought much of. It's something that will require more study. Oh so much to work on. The other day I think it was arse left a message. It really wasn't anything, nor do I really remember it. Just a note. I don't remember if I mentioned anything about the last call. But if I didn't, it was interesting and yet funny. It's funny to hear someone cry and it's not over you. For a second, a quick thought crossed my mind wondering if would you have the same for me? Funny right? or more sad? On a side note, isn't it strange how an eggroll doens't even have egg in it? And I just wanted to laugh and thought you get what you deserve. The sleepless nights. Can you feel it? Still not feeling very well. I shall try to get some rest for now. Hopefully to get better soon love.

Back to my Perch

And so I am feeling a slight twing in my throat. I did pop some pills, so homefully it will be better soon. I did try to drink the whole juice to no adue. But I do need to drop off some stuff for the punk. So I better get packing and I need to run some stuff off as well. The Statement I can look over and plan it out before I do anything because typeing should not be too difficult. It's just coming up with the ideas that is time consuming. Overall today I have been drowsie due to the first set of pills I took. I also need to take care of some images I owe to someone later if not tomorrow morning.

Okay, so I look over the images and I don't know what I was thinking. Either I was lazies or what. Either way, I rather stay here and watch Lost. I don't want to be at beck and call. It's better here and I am not feeling up to it either. Already had lunch with em today anyways. Good enough. I feel so tired. Maybe I should try to get some rest early and hope tomorrow I will feel better. It's unlikely, but it doesn't mean I can't try. I should give em a call and drop off some stuff. Oh my goodness, maybe it's the way I am sitting but I can start to feel the body aches. Gosh darn it.

Too Much Too Soon?

Not sure what to say about yesterday. Guess all was normal and I was even feeling productive. And then it all happened. I guess I could have anticpated it, or not. I have sometimes wondered what it would be like. Guess it wasn't as painful as I would have expected it to be. But am still hurting. There's a first time for everything. But seriously everything was pretty much done except for one thing. So how far are you willing to go? How far are you willing to push it? Oh god, are you messing with me? Or testing me? Or playing with me? Or maybe only am just being played. How knows, for now, as long as you have fun and keep your head on straight, all is well. At elast for now is it.

For now I got some accounting to do, econ, and work on a statement and dinker with stocks even. Oh what to do.

• Tinker with accounting
• Dinker with econ
• Churn out a statement
• Pick at stocks

Have community council elections tonight, we shall see how that goes. So I will see how much I can get done. After I clean myself up of course. Lets see how productive I can be. I still got a good 3 hours minus the dinkering around time. Let gogogo. Later love.

One More Time

I guess I been neglecting this. But the need to get back to old habbits. I did look up MPR and it was interesting and it makes good background sounds.

Aknowledge, Forgive, Learn

So today I know I should not have but I decided not to attend. It won't happen again, but I think I needed time to gather myself. Accounting wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. But I know it needs more work. I forgot my mp3 player at home. Or at least I hope that's where it is. But I wasn't paniced that I didn't have it. Okay so I did put in some time to fill it and yet I forget it. I know I have much to write and to reply to. But one at a time and it won't seem so much like a chore. I am trying to recall the times been over. But it all seems to be a blur. I need to keep on top of things, really need to be. Did I also forget to make a note about fishing as well? I just checked and I did make a note of it.

Forgive yourself

1/22 TH: I can't even remember the nights at this point. Had some line testing, but no crossing. It's funny would bring such a thing. Not even sure where it came from. Knew I could have gotten one, but I didn't want to and so I didn't even try to get one. And then one just appears. Even went as far as mantioning as wanting to go through with it? Does one not consider the consenenses or the potential consequences? And what's even worse was it was left in the morning... At least the sheets were all folded nicely. Points there. But for the proceeding day, it did hurt. But the pain passed.

Pigeon poped in last night for the dung book. Disguessed the reasons for the book for weffy. The drama. I was surprised he didn't jump at the chance to move out and to move in over the snake? Or is there something else? Also that she didn't want to move in either. But from what I have heard, it's not the most plesent dwelling. So I am not sure how to read him quite yet. But it's very inconsiderate for him to say he doens't like Maple Grove or the people. Quite surprising especially for someone like him to be so carefully planned. We shall see what his motives are.

Today it's back to dhrma talks. The more we worry about the future, the more we neglect the future. It's totally uncertain.

Recourse

I think I left out last Sunday. Which by all means was important. I really like the lights, it's so bright and pretty. It makes me happy and overall, last weekend was not too shabby at all.

1/18/09: I guess so much has happened that I left it out. So after conflict, we did talk later that staurday and things seems to have gotten better. So we made plans to go to church and to a gethering. Church went better than I expected. The talk of the day was about Jesus and about finding God, or more like God finding us. It was interesting. Uncle was so very nice and the little buggers as well. And Cal is so sweet. Should have went for that one. And as usual go lost going to gathering, but it wasn't my fault because she missed N101. But that was fun too and tasty as well. Need to remember to find out how to make all the goodies. Apple cake and carmel bar as well. So tasty. Overall it was a good time and it was funny how was told had couple look =.= You kidding me? Rediculious. On the way back got caught in the ditch, but that was my bad. Took a illigal U turn and butt got caught in the snow. Fortunattly there was a nice guy that pulled us out. I don't know if it was luck or what. Or even like mom saids, God was watching over me. But for some reason when we were stuck, there was no panic at all. For some reason I knew we were going to be okay.

Vomiting Blood

I'm sure there is something to say, but I am not sure what is was. I know there was something. And so we shall talk about now. This week has really been something. I feel tired but I am not sure for what reason. I am tired of working I think or just maybe thinking of it. So I want to give myself a break. Hopefully once I am home things will be better and I can reset myself. I want to try to be more healthy which is never easy since I feel already that I have spent too much money on food already.

I am not sure what to think about yesterday night. I question my feelings. If there is even any or is it just a physical need? But I have to keep my head on straight. I need to think things through. Everything happened so fast. Hopefully not out of controll. But all this feels so familar. Like I have done this before. I know there's a chance this could all be a ploy. Do I need to get into the details? It was so close to crossing the line. Next thing I know, I was being touched and was in my birthday suit with my hand being pushed down. It was funny how it was all taken off so quickly lol and I didn't even notice the bottom as well. But it all seemed like a dream. Something I have talked to someone once before all happening before me. But I felt it. It was nice XD I am such a perv lol gosh darn it. wetness... Must pratice selfcontrol. It was funny how it was thought of the concern of weight.

Conflict

Daily Planetary Overview
With the Moon square Mars in Cardinal Signs, you'll be irritable and short with people. Finesse will be lacking when dealing with others. Decisions will be made hastily and without forethought. Mistakes will be made if you are in a hurry.

Scary eh? Well it's not like it has ever steered me worng. Funny how things don't seem to go according to plan. But it's not important. Well being is so much more important. I just have to try and to know it's enough.