Krsnik

It has been a long time, an old friend. Accidentally edited the last post and lost the original date. Been more than 2 years and here I am again. So much has changed and yet the same. I'm not sure what brought me back here today. Not sure I ran back into Trinity Blood and next thing you know is here I am. Am I losing focus or losing myself?  I'm not even sure what I am anymore. I have been in my head a lot and I'm not sure how to separate what is real or what is my mind or if it's something I want to make real. So many thoughts running through my mind like a hamster on a wheel.

Maybe I have been working on this for so long that it's getting to become so routine. Wondering who is going to leave next. So lets cut to the chase, what really brought me here. As in the last few weeks I think about what has happened before. The only difference is this one feeds on to the obsession due to the interaction. It confuses me, but yet I know there is nothing. It's kind of my MO. I'm not even sure if that's how you spell or say that one. Too much tv, too much screen time. I try to drown it out with music, but I don't think it's helping, it's clouding my mind. I don't know if I have it in me to do it for myself or others even. How far will I go and what am I will to do to look a certain way? Kinda sliced open fingie in an attempt to clear out what bothers me. There's a chance it could have made it worse, but it's a change I will take. I try to refocus my attention to another, but it's only temporary. So lets try myself again. I did it once where it was all about me when I hit rock bottom. Lets not try for another bottom.
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Well it just reminded me maybe why I gravitate to. I suppose it's strictly professional. Can you be upset over something you choose?