Drizzle

It has been more gloomy than not these days. It could be the weather, and just how the interactions of late remind me of something of the past and reverting into past behaviors. And gone already. It's how things seem to be. I don't even know what seems to be going on anymore. I think or I thought I knew what was going on. And then it's not what I thought or expect. Either I didn't understand or misinterpretation. Or maybe it's just that different now. I seem to want to care less. I don't even want to be bothered. Things I can not get answers to. But then again we don't need answers to everything nor to control it. Not just to simply to love, but to have loving kindness. To be kind with love. Not always to be a self, but to have a greater perspective on all aspects of life for as long as you are here. Don't let it bother you. You don't always need to know.

I am tired in many ways, I do not want to guess anymore. I want to be able to let it all go and not let it bother me. But I can't seem to do that now.

Daily Planetary Overview

The Sun will be trine Neptune today in Air Signs, bringing a strong imagination and appreciation of the arts. This will be a good time to take in a concert, discuss ideas, and think about future goals and possibilities.

Your Horoscope - Today, Oct. 16, 2009

You will find that there is a greater burst of energy coming your way today than there has been in the past couple days, Melly. It's as if you are making a new start and now is your chance to come out and begin with a fresh new attitude. Realize, however, that a sensitive nature is going to be the thing that helps you get through this day victorious. Keep your mind focused inward while you pursue outer-directed activities.

It saids that I will get over it. I sure I hope it is right. Out of the most random time I ran into a past passion that I do so dearly miss. I am sad that it was only last year that it was discontinued. Among other things I am worried. Worried over things I know I can not control. I still feel the need to control and to know what is going on which is all part of the control. I think if I find something to keep myself barried in, it will not seems so bad. It will not seem to be so long. Not much of an appitite today. Could be a number of factors.

After some time, it doesn't seem as bad. It kind of forces you to let go. I am worried on what I should do, what I can do if nothing more. Can't be helped sometimes. I sure do like to cause my own suffereing. I already know what it is like to cause my own suffereing. So why do it to others? You already know how painful it can be. Why make others pay and have them go through the same thing. Be pacient. Be loving.

~Rut~
So lets try to get out of this rut. I must continue the search. I know I miss. It could be because it has been 2 days since we talked. And I am starting to miss it. I really do. I really do hope things will get better soon. Very soon...

Is it really possible to be gone for that long? But what else do I need to get done. Last I checked I had a whole laundry list of things to do.