Had an some what insightful day. But first, almost felt like I was going to do. It was a sudden cold and hot and cold and sudden piercing pain running from my butt and down my leg to the point I had to sit down on the floor instantly if it wasn't so painful to get myself on the floor. As dirty was the floor seemed, I needed to get down before I fell over. Even tense moment was so painful. I seemed like it lasted for minutes, but sure it was only second. I hoped and hoped it would fade soon before anyone saw me in tears of pain. It soon faded without incident. It was a moment of one of the greatest relief of my life. Don't think I have experienced such cold pain in my life.
Fairness
This past weekend been planning a trip to Chicago. It's more business than pleasure and now even more business. It has gotten more serious. Convo of today went more like oh I don't ask for help because people will talk about how you needed help. And my side went more like not many people do things without help. Not many people do things alone. Complain how no one help with you don't even ask for help. You worry about how others will think of you when you should be thinking of yourself. What your aunt and uncle think about you doesn't matter, they don't even know what their own mother that lives with them likes to eat. That really shows what they know and care about. Not saying I am any better, but I don't think they are much better. Their opinion does not benefit you in any way. They won't help even when they can help, but you like your mom goes to help people anyways. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you don't get anything in return, how can you complain? They can ask your for help and not return the favor to you because you feel obligated to do so for family sake. But they don't see it the same way. I can go on this rant forever. Got to stick to your guns. Help others if you can and if you want to, not because someone tells you that you should. You do not need people around you that do not support you and push you down. It's even okay if they do not support, but do not get in the way. Do nothing and stand on the side is better than standing in your way.
Lucky Bunny?
You keep hearing preparation and opportunity = luck. You think it's true? With his story, I wonder would it be different if he had not so much money, would he still pay for the elderly couple hotel and ride? Would he had been able to meet them in any other way? Or was it his generosity that they saw? Even if you had money, not sure how many people would pay for a strangers ride and stay. Or did they just like that he stopped to help them? Could be an opportunity to learn more, get some insight either way. Mom did mention he was the risk taker type and do again the grain type. Everyone told him not to buy a failing restaurant, but in 3 months turned it around. I think hearing other people stories help to get me to think outside the box. I don't want to be stuck hear forever. A part of me is itching to get out. Although a part of me feels safe hear. Am not appreciated hear.
Where there be a point I look after myself first?
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