Control

 Shouldn't feel the need to, but recently been feeling the need to control.  Maybe it's resentment from others controlling me.  Don't like being told what to do.  Don't like how others think they know what is best for me.  What I should do, what I should be doing, how things should be done.  Apparently I don't know what I am doing.  I would just screw things up. Hard to let things go when everyone is always telling you what to do.  One can only take so much. Doing what pleases people other than what's right.  Give people trust and encouragement and respect and people will live up to it?  But who will give that to me if everyone is always telling me what to do and treat me like a child?  Control and Fear. Fear of mistakes. Freedom to be miserable and to be depressed? So many expectations and aspirations.  You control so much, can't always push through it.  So many frustrations.  Things get tough.  Things you can't change or control.  Don't want a programed life, but what about the things you want to do? Without desire, feel as though life has no direction. To not control is to not care?  How to not plan and not control and yet show care? I don't want other peoples thoughts and opinions to affect me. They have had enough impact.  They have prevented me from making an offer on  car just because I knew they would think it's too old. I want to be on my own for awhile.Just disconnecting from things for a bit.  Not lets others tell me what to do and also not telling others what to do.  They are old enough to know what they are doing weather I agree with it or not. Be free to live the way you want to.  I am done waiting for permission for others to eat, take me out, permission to get something, or if it's a good idea.  I will decide things on my own.