The More You Know

Said I wasn't going to look anything up.  But ran into it accidentally.  I think it's what I want, but I fund myself longing for the other one.  Maybe it's the angle of the image, but I do find this one rather plain. 

Looked up some things I maybe should not have.  Not sure what the point in knowing.  It seems unreachable.  Keep looking for a trick or something I'm lacking to either figure it out or to give up.  People tell you one thing and then another.  Not sure what to believe or to even think there is a right or one correct way to approach thing.

I think I should start reading again.  Not sure if all them self help books help or just out to make money.  It's like Doc Phill telling people what they already know but in a book form.  People are so different.  Situations are so unique.  How can one set a rule or a path that can lead everyone to the same place? Maybe I should just stick with my gut for now until I can find a better approach that works for me.  

HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

I find myself wanting to share or aka gossip about things.  Not sure how this will bring gratification to self by putting down others or self.  Some things are maybe better not said.  Been thinking of changing and transforming myself.  Start with slight changes like how I care for my teeth and dry my hair.  Small efforts hear and there so get the ball rolling.  Not sure how long it will take, but got to do something.  I want to work on my image and not just for what others think of me, but what I think of me.  So I think that's what prompted the whole watch thing.  Not necessarily a vanity thing, but transforming how I see myself and I want others to see me.  We tend to define yourself of what others say about us.  At the same time you don't need anyone permission to feel a certain way about our self.  I find myself asking for permission in getting a watch, getting a job and not doing things for myself anymore.  It because more about pleasing others or asking permission to be yourself, to get approval.  I will keep looking.

What have I done today?  I have completed a few things, not a lot, but a few at least.  Need to plan a few more things.  Hopefully the weekend will not be a total lost.  Being on the computer really makes me tired.  Not like I don't spend enough time on the computer during the day.  Lots of changes ahead.  Not sure where the road will lead to.  Hopefully will check back hear more often to keep updated.  Recently lots of changes at work and all around.  No one knows if it's for better or worse.  Change has always been scary for me.  But it's something that can't be stopped or avoided.  Something we all got to face.  Like job change and moving out.  Can't really realistically expect it to always be the same.  I like her hair in the video and make up, so kerrigan.  .