Drea.m

I just woke up from an afternoon drea.m. I want to try to get whatever down before I forget it and for the most part I have forgotten. But it's something like I am a photographer. There was like a large military plane that landed and I was told to take picts of it and there were like other people like a boy with strange shorts with writing on the butt I was trying to take picts of. I remember not being able to see the writing, but I was like trying to accidentally to take picts of it, clearer picts of it. I happen to have like a camera that had super zoom and it was really clear, but people were scrambling around. I recall 2 guys with me. One of them was like Mike and the other a dark haired Travis like character. I remember Travis trying to help me or something. Else, I do not remember much..

Coco

I am starting to feel sick to my stomach. I try to dig drawers to find junk to toss but to my adue, there's not much I can toss. I know I am growing impatient. It's not a good thing. There are a lot of things I do not know, I should ask. I do not know how long I can wait. This is getting rediculious. I know I grow impacient. Maybe I need to be more understanding. Loving kindness and understanding. Most of it is not purposful if any. If you don't know what to do, maybe it's best to do nothing. already so late and no plans. Not even an address. Like no intention of actually going through with it. It's okay, but let me know won't you? Not everyone has as much free time as you, you know that right? Or you keep forgetting.

And that's why we have so much junk. No one is willing to let it go. Eat it and get fat, or toss, waste is sure better than the lather. We worry about waste, and all the craps we keep burdens us all. Is the ability to let go the key to bliss? As we are all tired down to worldly things. Feelings, emotions, possesions, desires, and loathing. I really grow tired of this. Strange how another's thoughts or feelings affect anothers so easily. Especially when we are such selfish creatures, how we are what others think. But is it just another form of selfishness.

Once again I think to much. Ask direct questions and get direct answer and move on.

Flexability

So I try to get some things done, but some things prevent me from doing so. One must be flexible. It really can't be helped if their website is down. So have to find other things to do until another chance rolls around. It will happen. The things that needs to be done will be.

In Other Words, Never

It's okay, one should respect each individual choice and decision. Things are so incomplete. The longing to know, but one can never know.

Good old firefox, so dependable. More dependable than other things.

I tend like to forget about loving kindness and acceptance for all things.

Time and Distance

Daily Planetary Overview

Try to be flexible today because the Moon sextile Uranus will help you adapt to changing circumstances. Plans may need tweaking at the last minute. Be open to new perspectives as there is no set way things should be done.

I seem to be able to find something drewrie to write about. But I shall try to scribble something each day to see if maybe everything is kind of a downer or is it I find it one way or another. One think taro is right about is that I am fairly positive today. more than usual. But I am still wearie about getting some things I should be getting done done. I still fall into old habits of fear.

Last night I didn't get much done. Ever so slightly disappointed. As guys will be guys. Even the ever so gay ones. Time and distance. As much as we don't seem to like it. It maybe good for you. How we don't like things that are good for you. How we like things that are bad for you. Can't we want things that are good for you? In part I want to blame myself. If I were more independent, could things be better? I must try.

Mail

Okay, so I guess no image for today. it may work better in Firefox. I want to say the reflection is rather bothersome. But even the original screen is reflective as well. At least i am getting something done. Or at least it's a start of something. I so need to tape up my thumbs. Lets be conscious of the thumbs for a bit and see if that's really the issue. I think I may want to wait in the Windows 7, but I feel I may forget later.

Icky Windows. At least FF iincludes the little cloud.

Daily Planetary Overview

Moon trine Saturn today will bring a good work ethic and a desire to do work that is of high quality. Don't accept second best. Your determination and eye for detail will help you complete first-rate work.

Your Horoscope - Today, September 9, 2009

Today you may need to get into contact with a lot of people, Melly, but you might find the process frustrating. They might not be home, messages might not be delivered, or your communications equipment might not work properly. Unless it's absolutely urgent, it might be more appropriate to wait until tomorrow to try to reach them. Otherwise you could work yourself into a state of mind too stressed out for words.

But it's rather scary. I got a lot oh communicating to do. Hopefully it won't be too complicated and I get to where I need to be.

Stuck

Maybe the best way to discribe how I am feeling. More often than late I miss out on talking about the pos of things.

8/29 Last Saturday went to the fair met up with and cousin. It wasn't as bad as I expected. As I didn't expect much keeping in mind just went to keep company. If I failed to mention the new laptop, it's nice, except the keyboard does suck. But I am trying to clean it up. I don't understand why the OS takes up so much room. And why suddenly sim pop on at 1am? Who knows. I shall ask sim about that later. Worse thing happened that evening. I guess I felt something was worng, but I wasn't being careful. Not sure if there anything I could have done differently. But on Tue, things seem back to normal. Lets keep it that way.

~Fair Fun~
Nothing too exciting, had a bite of cheese although didn't get potatoes, had some pickels and too much ice cream. Saw some cute bunnies that were for sale and had some corn. Afterwards went out to din din with uncle and aunt and then to church. Interesting talk, I liked the preachers style. But it's hard to say what I beleived. Talked to aunty and learned a few fun facts. Maybe useful or prove to be nothing at all. Set up the converter box. It doesn't seem to work very well. I was going to bring it to the restraunt to see if it would work better there. But it barely passes here. I think I can type better on an incline. My thumbs for now are not so much in the way. The thing that urks me about the box is the numbers are so small and no simple channel guide. I am thinking I don't want to use this one or get this one again. I am not pleased.

-Earlier this Week -

~The Setup~
I think that maybe something I forget to mention. It's more like last week. This part I can elaborate more later. Or I should just do it now and get it over with. I finally later that week find out the whole story. But at this point, the fair trip may or may not happen.

~Pain~
So I catch a late night rerun of oprah and it's a story of a lady in constant pain where a grown woman with some genetic disorder wake up to find herself hunched to her right all the time. I thought this epi was going to be all about Fox's parkensons, but it seems like to be about other dabilitating diseases.

~Wonder~
I know it's late and all but I can't help but wonder. I know I worry too much and part insecurity. I keep checking when I should be doing other. I need to get on top of things. I think I need to either cut off my thumbs or tape them together or something. I should go back to making lists of things I need to do. Realize my feelings and where it comes from. But there are some things that just can't be bothered. Other things that can't be helped. Gosh, why so loud. I can't hear my soft tv. Maybe this will put somethings in perspective for me hopefully. But this all could be the result of my own aggitation. I worry about the monthly gift. That I may not get it. I really do create my own hell. Exploer does suck. It's slow and gmail doesn't like to work on it.