Hot

Today with the sun beating down on us, it was extreamly hot. Today was the Lemonaid Art Fair thing. It was the same as last year. Though I did see a cute fishy bag. But I know I don't need it. Nor would I do anything with it really. Maybe if it was in a different color, but it was cute either way. I need to resist temptations... But it was really cute. Can't resist fish.

It's funny how you think you want something, but then after looking back, it's not really what it seemed.

Excuses

Do I really beleive? Since when does like to sleep so much? Well true email was not checked, but there could albe other reasons for that as well. That's even more rediculious that would get up to go on a date and not. Guess it's meant to be like this.

But besides more diapointment from the only source of it and this isn't fun anyways. It's not that I miss or anything, I just don't like this. Reminds me of something bitter. But lets not dwell on that. I still have douts and hold reservations on it so I shall not make the same mistake as I did before. I will not think like that. I will not disapoint myself like that again. I will not put myself through it again. I will not be like before. It really has been a long time since I have blogged because I was happy or excited about something. Seems like more often than before I seem down or more dispointed over something... Why am I so gloomy? Such an Eeyore when I once was a Pooh. It's time to be more Pooh like.

Warm

Today is not bad, had some jello and I thought I wanted ice cream, but I wasn't sure. Then I run into this image and it really made up my mind especially at the same time ice cream appears on tv. It's strange today how is not around. Makes me wonder... But good thing America's Got Talent was on to keep me distracted long enough, else I would have been screwed. Thank the the Lord. It was also nice talking to Todos today. Things are not as bad as they seem. But we shall see. Still have some problems to do among other things I need to get organized. Right after Conan.

So I find it strange how my nails are cracking, just like me. I need to take better care and be more pacient. Today ran into Miguel on facebook, so handsome. Who knew a fat MG could look like that. For some reason I always imagined him to be more childish and cute than so handsome. Either way, not like I can do a thing about it. Will try to get an early start on things tomorrow. Goodnight.

Stories

I guess been busy, but I guess it all depends on if there's a story to it or not. I guess it was nice to be able to finally talk for a bit. The heat sure isn't helping today. Wonder when they coming to get the pup? Not like she's bothering me or anything, but I am still ancious. I don't work well this way. I shall continue this in a bit after I find a way to cool down. It's also a funny thing how pops on and off. I know the net isn't very well and sure plenty of things need to be done and people to talk to. Try to be understanding.

I am really way too ancious to do anything. Is it because I worry it be at 10 and that's what I get? Does it really take that long to drive up here? Really am too warm and bloated. It's funny watching Sadie play with her werid little red tube thing. Funny how she can amuse herself so well.

And there she goes. Been set free for a bit. Will miss the pup. I just noticed, it's funny how I am cracking, just like my nails. I really need to toss that stuff, but it gives it character slightly.
Don't assume anything, for there are things you don't realize.

Pointless

I want to keep this one simple and sweet. I guess there's not point in getting on if there's nothing going on. Maybe I am too avalible and I should just start to cut it off. Set myself free for a bit. Remember how it was like to be free for awhile. Try to be understanding, try to be well meaning. I rather cut all ties than deal with distance. This really isn't working for me. I need to do what's best for me and myself.

Puddles

It has been fun having a pup around. Today wasn't so bad as long as I am not left alone. I think I should take her out for a bit. Though whatever concerns I have, nothing can be done. Who is she???.. A ponderance... Cute though I give you that. I know I should eat, but yet I can't bring myself to really. Tired, today has been interesting Father's Day. Pizza and cake. Didn't really go according to plan, but not abd either. Steph came over to visit pup and talked about some issues. Interesting thoughts. Go figure. Is it truely over thinking things and worrying and causing your own torture? Mom asked about that word the othere day as it appeared on a magazine rack. Today I decided to but what I needed as I figure I don't want to wait nor to depend on another besides one self to get things done and taking care of in many aspects I find today.

I think I will be okay. This morning I was feeling better after some streams. The pain seems to subside a bit and some distraction does help as well. But at the moment I'm not taking it very well. It seems to eat away at me a bit. I can only hope it gets better very soon so help me God. May anyone watching over me give me the strength to get through and over come this and all odsticals in my way. May I be able to free myself from my own prison.

Disapointment

Somehow I manage to disapoint myself. As usual setting myself up for disapointment. Does it ever get tiresome? To rid myself of attachment and all expectations. But what to do when you miss? Is to try not to forget the faults and downfalls of it all. To accept as time passes by. Had a strange dream where I was out of breath and couldn't breath. Don't think it was me, but I could feel and see all was happening. Someone was drowning and someone came to give them a breath of air. I could feel myself taking in the breath and wanting more air like it wasn't enough. It was a scary feeling of dying.