Neh

For a moment, I was slightly excited, but after getting more info. No so much anymore. Maybe it's all in my head, but I am not so excited about either options. At least it's something, but part of me either doesn't care or hope it doesn't work out. If not, then what do I have left? Head has been aching and been stressing out so much that I even got 2 pimples suddenly. It could be from the hair spray though, but how it get on the left side? I am going to try to stay away from it, or at least from direct contact. At least I'm still pooping. Still want to try to keep things simple and clean. Pay really sucks doesn't it? Not like it wasn't sucking enough. It still seems so far.

Do I Have a Choice?

I don't really like it. I don't know what I can do. Falling into desperate times. I don't want to take desperate measures. The nerves. The falling out. The fear of the tele. All such hinderance. So much so wrists are starting to ache. So many scammers, so many lyers. How they all get away with it? Is it all luck? Are they that good? Tired and numb from all this. So sad, so many fakes.

Doing Everything, Yet Getting Nothing Done

For some reason I feel I should be applying in the evening. Like it's all out there and to get it done at once. Or should I just do a few throughout the day? I am not sure how quick the response is if any. I feel as though I maybe always late or something. Should maybe try to look for something in my area more. See if that makes a difference.

So what's on today's list? It's already almost 2. So it really depends how quickly I can get some things done.

-pull hairs
-clean fish
-apply for something
-respond to emails/messages

Doesn't seem like a really long list. I think I spend more time thinking about it than actually doing anything about it. I don't know if getting more fishies will be more that it's cut out to be. Is less really more? It does seem much.

Prayer

Maybe I do need to pray more or harder. I never hurts to hear it out.

It sure seems interesting. Not sure what I can do with it. What is Money Laundering anyways? I guess I never really thought about it besides know it's a bad thing. But knowing my luck. Though it may seem interesting, the wind is usually not blowing in my direction.

Bumed

Lack of hedging. Need to hedge more. Change is in the air, for better or worse...

It all seems like for nothing. Seems like a waste of time. Would of, should of. It's too late now and I don't want to think about it. Lets start new in the morning. So many things to do, so little time.

Is it for Real?

Back is aching. I think it's the sitting on the bed. I really need to get out of the mojo. Though burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't know if I would end up with em. The video gives me something to consider. Could it be a scam? It seems easier to believe. It seems like an easier or better answer. It's something I would prefer.

No call after some false promises. None of it means anything to anyone. Attention to details. Is that a joke?

New Direction

Maybe it's better to find something that's more comfortable. Stable. Simple.

Assertive

	Daily Planetary Overview Don't start anything new until after lunch unless you want a project to go nowhere. This evening people think the grass is greener in some bizarre way. The person across the room isn't more fascinating. The "greener" is just lots of the color on St. Patrick's Day.

Taro:

Today, the Magician and Justice emphasize the need for stability and security in your romantic life. This means that you will be looking to get reassurance from your loved one much more than normal, dear mel... And this is a potential source of danger today. Try not to be too insistent and forceful when demanding that reassurance. After all, "Rome wasn't built in a day." Professionally, you’ll be concentrating on working towards long-term perspectives. You’ll be showing great perseverance and tact in order to advance your goals, and you’re mainly concerned with being constructive. Under the aegis of Temperance and Justice, you are slowly building your little nest, by consolidating the bits and pieces you already have. This approach is clearly going to bear fruit.

I sure hope so. I guess today I tried to look for it. Not sure why I just accepted the idea that it was gone and didn't bother to look for it. I was bumed and lost. I had hope if it returned or if I found another one I would have some direction. Not like I could count on anyone else. It's just me and you.

Got to love the idea of being overworked and underpaid. Not sure if it's the thing for me. Doesn't mean I can't give it a a try. Most attempts are usually futile isn't it? It sounds pretty gloomy from what David said. I am starting to get these headaches. I hope they are not all related to this missery. I tried to sleep better, get more sleep, chance of pillow. Just not sure what I can do about it. It won't be easy. Since when have I ever taken the easy route? I like it hard after all right? If it's not, then is it really worth doing?

Stress

Hessatations

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing ,
But Only GOD Keep You Going!

First it was 5, then it's 30. How can it be done? I really don't know if I can do it. I am really starting to have doubts. Maybe if I talk to David, I would either be more or less sure. Yet I still hold this fear in me. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know where I can place it. What happens if I can't make it? Am I just afraid of failing? I know it has been a constant factor in my life.

De-Nile

Reluctant Fear

It starting to sound more tough. Maybe it's not what I think it is. I am starting to dig myself into what I am not sure about. Is it that serious? But this has lead to a different perspective on sales. It's interesting, but it's starting to seem like it may not be something for me. As they say, fear holds much of back. Is it something I can get over or feign?

TenA went over like crap sliding over crap. It can't be helped I just don't test very well.

Fear Itself

Not sure what I am afraid of. It's like the fear of your own reflection. We really have to get over it. More reason to when you are no longer getting called from igroup now. You got to move on to the next thing. Not to think too much or focus on one thing as often the bottom falls out from you. Utter disappointment sets in and never fails on that end. It's at least something you can count on.

It wasn't so bad, though I wished I had some time to ask a question or two. It seemed kind of brief.

The first in the line of what's to come usually don't work out. Not sure what went wrong. Maybe I needed to lie out of my teeth more or maybe they are just better at it than I am at it. Well, they suck anyways. Stupid white people.

Esteem

Not like going to be expecting any kind of change soon or ever. So what I can do is myself. It's like the dog issue. There's not much you can do about the dog. Only change the way you may perceive the dog. You can also avoid the dog. Ignore the silly creature, it's just a silly dog. They don't know what they are doing. Narrow minded simpletons.

Just Go For It

You will have many opportunities in the future to screw up.

See, I told you, all this thinking is almost useless.

And it wasn't so bad after all, but I need to think of more customer contact opportunities. When she said sales, I wasn't too excited about that. But there could be more earning potential in that.

Oh God, here we go again...

And that one went pretty bad. That was almost like a crap shoot. It was bad and it got worse. Was like all worried that I would get too many, but that never happens does it?

Pissie

Not sure if I am more pissed at the low score or at what her face getting a job. Hopefully will get more details about it, and who knows, maybe it'll be able to assist me in some way. A different maybe better direction.

You Say What???!!!

Good Lord

Lets not shoot myself in te foot today or any day. But you know what I mean. But it's not more like practice, it's more like it's not going to happen. You want to tell me how this is going to happen? I really don't see it happening. So lets not waste our time. Lets do things we enjoy. The Lord has given us things to enjoy in life, not to say it's not good enough. I cleaned out the gunk between my eyes. Last night was not a pleasant conversation. I care, but I think that's as far it goes. The things you wouldn't know if you didn't look. How ignorance is bliss. Only if I didn't know, how much simplier thing would be. I'm still very sweaty for some reason. I think I want to work on cleaning things up for now instead of the lather. I am just tired of looking at all thing. This mot not a very dynamic environment. I would hope that people would be more, but it's more boring I guess.