illness

I haven't been feeling well this week. Just got home and have not really been able to sleep. I woke up today at 6am and went to sleep at around 11. Been wondering why we meet the people that we do in our lives. Some have potential, others not so much. I can feel myself going back to that place. Falling back into old ways that I worked so had to change. But the feeling is still there, still so strong. Maybe it's time for You Love is a Lie again. And Leaving to get me through this, it really doesn't help to listening to Crush. But it does help to keep things in perspective.

But this week things have bee going well. Haven't had that feeling in a long time and it's nice. I really like how simple it is and especially how complicated I like to make it. But I shall let it go for it's a promise I made and I need to keep it. But there are signs. So we'll see where they lead me. I been listening to Ajahn Brahm and it has keep things light hearted especially his hermit story about how we never know what ends up happening as much as we like to think we know what we want and are doing. But whatever happens, it's a good thing as long as we make the choice and whatever the result it is, whoever it may seen like at the moment, may or may not turn out to be a positive to negative thing in the long run.

To have desires.

It has been a good week overall, can't say I did all that well on that quiz, but overall social life it was good, it was fun and then an interesting call. I'm actually getting tired now, but I also want to watch tv as well. I no longer bother with time much, but I do keep it in mind. Too tired to think about it now. It was on my mind b4, but now I lost it and am just too tired and hungie to find it. We'll see later.