Stillness

Stillness

It's nice when things are not so noisy. I tire of it all. But I do want to watch the Oprah interview with the mistress. Not much talking going on this weekend. Not sure why. Could be just a busy week. But then again, nothing much to talk about. Just doing. But I always seem to get this way where I get to a point where I just don't want to do anything where I have so many ideas, but can't get anything done.

Anger towards one self is guilt.

Stillness

Reminessing

For some reason I was looking back last night. I am not sure why. Maybe because I miss something or because something new was going to happen. I can sure type. Anyways, the past weekend was nice I guess. The less you know, the better for you to deal with. Like I had a thought last night at work, like if there was someone outside waiting, I would be on the edge. But if there was someone and I didn't know, I would feel nothing until I knew someone was there and then feel a bit guilty for not knowing. But I feel it for less time this way. And I can make an excuse that it can't be helped that I didn't know. You can't admit to something you didn't know about.

~Glee~
I am not sure if it is glee, but in an odd way I feel better about it. Knowing that someone longs for one. But it's an interesting feeling to know you left an impression on someone. Someone that is unforgettable. More like a stroke to the ego. Not sure why but I have been looking back of late. The longing to touch base with somethings.. And it may happen soon. I think only after Monday will determine how things will go. So much is riding on Monday. I hope things go well. Knowing that I am better off in this end makes a part of me feel better. But I will keep things on my part, what you are call it, impersonal? Not sure if that is the word I am looking for.

~Spots~
The spots on my face sure don't help. And I though it would help. But it's touch and go. Not sure if it has gotten worse or just moved to another location it seems like and keeps appearing there now. So what to do? As I always feel as long as it doesn't hurt, I don't mind it so much. I am trying to plan the outfit for Next Saturday. I already have it figured out in my mind, but we shall see when the time comes. I should have also made an appointment sooner. But I guess things took so long that I left it on the side for too long and forgot about it.

The spots sure do hurt. But does knowing hurt more? Am I going to do anything anyways? It's more like to use it to make decisions in the future. What kind? I am not sure yet. I really do want it to get better. I will do some tossing. I really think, I can let some things go... I have to...

~Apart~
Things have not been going too poorly. Things overall have been well. Just once in awhile, thoughts get in my head and make things worse. Else, there are things I worry about, but nothing that as come to light if I didn't go dig for it. I really am looking for dung to play with. and when I get out to dry off, I end up crawling back in because I miss it I guess. But tomorrow should be a good day to go out drop off stuff at goodwill. I been meaning to do that. It has been too long really. But more reason to dig out stuff for them tonight.

Knowing

The idea of knowing too much. But I already know what I am going to do. I just hope I am able to do it when the time comes. I can already feel it. But I do hope working will ease it. For now, can't worry so much. I got other more pressing issues that needs me. So we will leave this on the back burner as I already know what is going to happen...

~SOL~
I so want to dance like him. It's something I can work on as I think of new creations. But like any song, I don't want to get ill of this one either.

Menz

Very tired. Today I have had an inability to get things done. I am not sure why. Maybe just tired. I want to let some things go especially the computer or at least less time with it. But I have not been able to find the charger to the mp3 player. I wonder where it went. Typing doesn't seem to hurt as much. But it still hurts.. the pain is in the fingers.

~Neopets~
Mom just randomly brought it up and I logged on and saw a message that was long forgotten.. How interesting. Went to catch up on some reading, but it may not be such a good idea. Yet I can't seem to help myself.

~Me and My Rocks~
I want to get over it and get things done.

Getting Over It

~Wedding Dress~
the song seems appropriate for some reason. But it is a good song. I just don't happen to not like the name of the song. But either way, it shouldn't stop me from liking the song. I want to get more things done. I am not sure if I should just do it now or wait. But waiting like I waited to hope to get a better discount from Express, but either way. It means I can buy less if all works out well. And knowing me, I will find something else to buy.

~Don Tot~
And the call that I waited for finally came. But I am still pessimistic. But we shouldn't let that stop me. As we look forward during the next month. It's so uncertain. I plan on not seeing much anyways. But I will find something to keep myself wound up like looking for cloths and dressing myself up. Dressing one self up seemed to have worked in the past and it has it effects still. Maybe I should stick with it. It be a never ending process as one can never be enough in ones eyes.