I worry I may miss out on something. I guess I never really did the math to find out what 15hr really makes and no benefits either. Can I really get by with that much or should I say little? My parents are able to do it with less. Sure they have a lot of help and it's not like I am not getting any either. It will make things more steady. I fear I have had too much freedom and in the corp world be so different. More rules and regulations.
I should be angry, I should be mad, I should not feel bad.
After this incident, I am starting not to feel as bad. I try to understand they got business to do. I really do but at what expense? So come to the realization of how little I am getting and how much expenses there are. I figure that working once a week I can still barely make enough for parking. I overall make less than 30k, more like 28k before takes - 15%. so it's about 25k at the end. But it's more than I ever made. I know it's not much. But it's sure better than nothing. I guess I have never really lived on my own to really know how much you need to pay to get paid. I wish this place would have worked out. It seems kind of odd that it's open ended. I guess it's like open ended relationships. I wonder if I get a cube. Tummy is not sitting well. Not sure if it's the pizza or it's the stress. Don't call it just stress because it is a big deal. I also have the red to deal with this week hopefully. 15 doesn't seem to cut it especially so far. But years ago I told myself I would follow in pigeon's foot steps. It's not like I wanted to or at least not that I know purposely steered myself into that direction. It's a feeling that I knew was going to happen. But then again. I feel like may things have already happened before. 240 for parking a month. I don't even spend that much on cloths. Oh good Lord, and another one is here for another meeting. Now this is really getting depressing. Not sure how I am going to pull this off, but will have to one way or another. It's just not very important to them is it?
I feel like shitting myself at this point. I really do. But no matter, time will still pass and things will be as they be. No reason to fuss over it. A part of me wishes I could head, but it maybe better off not. As today I been distracted by other things. I had not really have time to question other things like where the jerk as been. Not sure, but up to this point, don't care. To a point I feel sick. Oh great, it sure sounds boring. I get bored too easily it seems.
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