SOL

And have I been up to? Kicking myself. Not sure why the head has been hurting of late. It maybe has to do with worrying of a critter. Or maybe I really need an change of pillow. I don't think I have been sleeping well because of it.

SOL

And have I been up to? Kicking myself. Not sure why the head has been hurting of late. It maybe has to do with worrying of a critter. Or maybe I really need an change of pillow. I don't think I have been sleeping well because of it.

SOL

Same as sun isn't it? Well I finally got some of them cloths put away. I think it really does help to not to be so stingy. It really feels like summer again. I did get the pizza plate thing cleaned up and put away cloths. I still feel I have way too much under garment. But still reluctant to toss them for some reason as the ones I use often I want to keep using and of course the new ones I have not used yet. But maybe if I dig them all out, maybe I can find something I am willing to let go that's just plain rediculious.

Sunny

Not sure if this whole weather blogging thing works or not. But it's a nice Sunday today which I haven't had in a while where it has been nice and quite. It was funny to see how mom was all excited over the idea of a mp3 player. Seems fine, but overall something is off. I am not sure, but then again it is not unusual. So we play the waiting game here. My thoughts are all over the place. So for the most part right now is just going with the flow if thoughts. I guess I shouldn't worry too much about the minor details. It's not like a song or two is going to make or break it. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I would really like a job. It would help me. But I know this will not be an easy task. But I am willing to try and to do my best. The whole ripping thing sure likes to take its time. There are many things I should eat, but not sure if I want to eat. I just need to make it as something I have to do in order to eat. Sad isn't it? If eating isn't on the list I may just skip it? Oh well, you know what? If it works for them then you should just leave it be. Some people are just stuck in their ways. No use changing them if they don't want to be changed. And what's with the bumps under my eye? Of all the places that are hard to get at they choose there. Maybe they got smarter and figured it out.

It Can't Be Helped

It Can't Be Helped

Really it just can't be. I guess I will decide on somethings later in the evening and just go with the flow. As much as I want things to go a certain direction, it just won't. Things do have a way of going to where it should go. As water goes, it will go the path of least resistance. Is the universe the same way? Is it actually okay to want to go in a different direction?

Dan Tot

~Spottage~
I just went to wash my face with the cleansing pads and it has left white spotting on my fingers. I am not sure if it's due to dryness or what. But it is really freaking me out. It doesn't hurt, but it looks pretty bad.

~Week~
I know for the past week and more, I have been on the slow side. Today was perhaps the first day I actually felt like doing something. I know I have been bummed of late of news that brings me up and down. Even today there was an interview to be a youth coordinator that I did worry for a split moment and then it was gone. I just didn't seem to really care. I don't think it went that poorly form the perspective that I didn't prepare for it at all. Sometimes I think it's who can fake it the best gets it. True to form.

A lot seems to be riding on tomorrow. No idea how this iriver thing works. It turns on but not off and then there's files missing.

~Late Night~
It has been awhile since it has been like this. Maybe been having it too good. But the message is rather suspicious. But one can make up whatever one wants when asked. Seems to be good at that. Now I just need to figure out what I should do. I am rather tired. I should just stop checking. But I do want to check on the farm. Then I will sleep. I have been slightly productive today or rather this evening. The past week less so. I may have too much riding on this one thing.

~Farming~
It's something I started last week. It has been quite addicting, but I want to manage it better. The constant checking is daunting.

~Nagging Tasks~
I still have a lot of things to go through. The imagination tends to run. But in the end it doesn't matter really. But I want to protect myself. The spots have faded o my finger. I am glad. Today I was starting to feel resentful but I did not let myself get too deep before i stopped or more or less changed the direction of it. But it doesn't help no one is there to listen. There's always God.

Please help me dear Lord to get through this. To calm myself.

The scope for tomorrow, how interesting. Oh temper temper, we shall see..

What Am I Waiting For?

I am waiting for many things. But should I be doing something in the mean time? If so, what should I be doing? I have been lazies on this end. Too many things to keep up with and things to worry about. But one thing at a time. I should look around. Who knows, there be something out there for me. Please Lord, take care of me and I will do my part to take care of what you need to be done. I know it has been rough and tough. I know it won't be easy on me. But I will do me best for you.

Stingy Chicken and Duck

I don't want more things to think about. Not like I don't have enough to ponder on.

Resentment

I feel as something is missing. A part of me doesn't care. A part of me wants to kill them all. Another part of me is bitter and resentful. I wonder if days weeks from now will I still remember? After all, women know women best. The part that doesn't care worries me the most. Can I really just take it one day at a time and as long as I am having fun, I take what I can get and leave when it's no longer. It maybe the best way to protect myself. I have to take care of myself and look out for number one.

~False Hope~
I am recalling the times

2 Pages a Day

I can see how customer service people get all irritated with stupid questions and you are not even talking to them in person. Even I want to scream at the dude. Not like he didn't get his money back. And I wonder if I am really cut out for this whole customer service thing..

So much to do and so little time. Just like 2 pages a day. Eventually will get it done. Maybe there was a reason I heard it. But not like will go a long with it. Guess just work on cleaning up and clearing out my head.

Truth

~Delusion~
When we think we are right. How it can be diluted. No one can do something knowingly it was wrong, only to realize to it was wrong later. But at the moment think it was right.

And here one goes again, same old, same thing over and over again. What do I do with something like that?