Dan Tot

~Spottage~
I just went to wash my face with the cleansing pads and it has left white spotting on my fingers. I am not sure if it's due to dryness or what. But it is really freaking me out. It doesn't hurt, but it looks pretty bad.

~Week~
I know for the past week and more, I have been on the slow side. Today was perhaps the first day I actually felt like doing something. I know I have been bummed of late of news that brings me up and down. Even today there was an interview to be a youth coordinator that I did worry for a split moment and then it was gone. I just didn't seem to really care. I don't think it went that poorly form the perspective that I didn't prepare for it at all. Sometimes I think it's who can fake it the best gets it. True to form.

A lot seems to be riding on tomorrow. No idea how this iriver thing works. It turns on but not off and then there's files missing.

~Late Night~
It has been awhile since it has been like this. Maybe been having it too good. But the message is rather suspicious. But one can make up whatever one wants when asked. Seems to be good at that. Now I just need to figure out what I should do. I am rather tired. I should just stop checking. But I do want to check on the farm. Then I will sleep. I have been slightly productive today or rather this evening. The past week less so. I may have too much riding on this one thing.

~Farming~
It's something I started last week. It has been quite addicting, but I want to manage it better. The constant checking is daunting.

~Nagging Tasks~
I still have a lot of things to go through. The imagination tends to run. But in the end it doesn't matter really. But I want to protect myself. The spots have faded o my finger. I am glad. Today I was starting to feel resentful but I did not let myself get too deep before i stopped or more or less changed the direction of it. But it doesn't help no one is there to listen. There's always God.

Please help me dear Lord to get through this. To calm myself.

The scope for tomorrow, how interesting. Oh temper temper, we shall see..

What Am I Waiting For?

I am waiting for many things. But should I be doing something in the mean time? If so, what should I be doing? I have been lazies on this end. Too many things to keep up with and things to worry about. But one thing at a time. I should look around. Who knows, there be something out there for me. Please Lord, take care of me and I will do my part to take care of what you need to be done. I know it has been rough and tough. I know it won't be easy on me. But I will do me best for you.

Stingy Chicken and Duck

I don't want more things to think about. Not like I don't have enough to ponder on.

Resentment

I feel as something is missing. A part of me doesn't care. A part of me wants to kill them all. Another part of me is bitter and resentful. I wonder if days weeks from now will I still remember? After all, women know women best. The part that doesn't care worries me the most. Can I really just take it one day at a time and as long as I am having fun, I take what I can get and leave when it's no longer. It maybe the best way to protect myself. I have to take care of myself and look out for number one.

~False Hope~
I am recalling the times

2 Pages a Day

I can see how customer service people get all irritated with stupid questions and you are not even talking to them in person. Even I want to scream at the dude. Not like he didn't get his money back. And I wonder if I am really cut out for this whole customer service thing..

So much to do and so little time. Just like 2 pages a day. Eventually will get it done. Maybe there was a reason I heard it. But not like will go a long with it. Guess just work on cleaning up and clearing out my head.

Truth

~Delusion~
When we think we are right. How it can be diluted. No one can do something knowingly it was wrong, only to realize to it was wrong later. But at the moment think it was right.

And here one goes again, same old, same thing over and over again. What do I do with something like that?

Why so Loud?

*sigh*

I need to have less, less thing, more ideas, more doing, but less materials. Looking at it makes my head churn. I am one moment too warm and another too cold. oh what to do.. For some reason I feel like BBQ now. What can I do with that? Besides breaded shrimp? Or even breaded chicken will do.